Delusional Reality

A part of painful reality
chocked with emotions
agony intense
of course! a never ending
search for salvation
awaiting a warrior
a prince charming
to rescue from the tower
of struggle
and fight our battle.

Dream break with light of dawn
hurting sun, burning skin
blistering bruises
and reality hits
its obscure simplicity
Only a glance of notice
a reflection persisting
my battle are mine
Thee war I came to fight
and that's my purpose of life.

I yell as loud as
my voice can reach
tearing up my vocal cords
hoping that someone will listen
"How can it be?
How evil is not only surviving
but also thriving
in bliss of ignorance
its growing
every day every morning"

I pause to weep
and then finish my sentence
"Why innocence is dying
Have the guiltless has to suffer
Why kindness flounders
at every step, in every way?"

Now I doubt upon your existence
how can you let it be
I raise hands my complain
no answer
not even a thunder
nothing shaken
not a drop of remorse
no hint of your presence
how merciless
how oblivious
you've become
Show me a sign
you still here
haven't abandon us
left us
deserted this planet

Oh! my Mighty Thee
if I can't
only you can be
a teacher to this lesson
might of all
to decide the future
Evil has to pay its price
and protect the innocence to survive

But if you can't
give me the power
to be always right
to be rightful
to be kind
let me serve your land
let me make it place to live
Where grace survive
Scorn the spec down below
pamper the goodness
and let it grow.

Chances of True Love

Love is incredible, love is thrilling and inspiring but rare, and many of us are fooled by a temporary attraction as a life time of commitment and true love. You remember when we were sixteen how everything seemed so lovely, every color was beautiful and that heart pumping wait for perfect prince Charming from fairy tales.

Well, I personally always had a thing for prince Charming, Cinderella’s prince Charming. Am not sure if that’s the most romantic story in the whole classic collection but the fact that always connected me the most was that it kinda felt real even though magical. It was the story which always made me believe in magic still existing in the real world, probably in various forms. For me my mother has always been my fairy God Mother, but since my sweet sixteen I always wanted that savior to sweep me away from the terrible hardship that I had to deal with jus’ like Cinderella. Although unlike her, I didn’t have a step-mom then but my own biological father was worse than that. Lucky for me, my fairy God Mother always had my back, and she has this incredible magic to keep me hopeful for the future.

Every sixteen years old girl needs her Price Charming and keeps waiting for him to come on that bright white horse wearing that shinny armor and dressed up in his royal suit. But a girl won’t care if her prince arrives in ruptured jeans if he is the real deal, if he is a friend, a person to rely on, a strength in weakest movement, someone to trust blindly, a shoulder always to cry on, a hand to hold but above all someone who can love her the most in the world. A person who’s pained seeing her in pain, who can do anything to keep her happy and smiling, the one who protects her from the evil world. One who brings that true love and faith in love in her life and becomes the best friend she needs.

That wait is worthwhile, if an ordinary girl finds her prince, but what if she doesn’t? Well, then that’s just reality of life and you are as ordinary as the girl next to you or thousand others. We’re all searching for the true love and very few of us are lucky enough. But most of us settle down with fatal attraction and that’s the whole life we see ahead of us. Marriage, kids and catching up with fast life, as we grow up and away from that sixteen year old girl inside us. We rarely find time to ask ourselves, is this the Life I wanted and is he The One I waited for so long. We’re afraid to break free of it ‘coz the most sure thing is comfortable but it mayn’t be the right thing. It takes a lots of guts to accept that and move on, probably the wait for true love is still on, probably this wait will never end or probably its jus’ around the corner. You’ll never know if you haven’t taken the chance.

I Do but I Don't

Its almost midnight,
there is no knock at my door.
Alone again,
as the night growing cold.
Sometimes all it takes
a little gesture
to turn around everything.
Sometimes everything shatters
as clutched in silence.

Is that what we call a bond,
well that's how four years jumped
and today we stand
in our  separate lives.

Am glad
this is the start
of a new tradition,
am glad
we have known this
before moving forward
before another disappointment
before another year
pouring down more misery

We walk alone now
move ahead to separate paths
no turning back
nothing left between us.
I have played enough
the games of blames
and leaving tormenting stains
Remember the vows?
Oh! we never actually
took 'em

A promise
to stuck by
for better or for worse
but every time
with passing years
its only getting worse

Now its time for you
For you to walk away
without a word
done with your text
jus' enough
to mend
or to break up.

But today
its gonna be different
before you leave again
let me tell you this
without a pause,
its over, its over,
and no path left
to lead you back
to lead you to me
or find our home.

The vows have failed
the bond broken
with heart shattered
bleeding crimson tears.

Four years ago
I said I do
but not today
not today.
I hoped I do
but I don't
not today
not today.

Promise

I am making a promise today
And this promise is to myself
I will smile
I will laugh
And I will fake all the way

I chose this journey with you
My darling
But in all these years
I believe, I have lost myself

So today I make a promise
A promise to myself
I will pretend with you
I will smile
I will nod
But never be myself

'Coz I've tried everything
I have talked
I have fought
I had been a friend
I had been a partner
But somehow someday
While walking with you
Lost in the crowd
Distance grew between us
And now we can't recognize ourselves.

So I make a promise today
A promise to myself
I will not move on
I will not let anything
Go away
I will relapse
Every night and every day
lose myself
To memories so brutal
To keep myself
remember this
How worthless I am
Granted for your sake.

I will remember everything
Keep repeating to myself
Breaking your charming spell
I move away,
Move far away

My darling
My honey
This is a promise
I ain't coming back
I am a breathing corpse
Without life without faith
Another chapter over for say.
Epic love story
Without an end.
Shame! the curtains are down
Without a finale.
Oh! so abruptly
Its all been said
Any chance to recover
Lost in dismay.

This is it
As far as the journey
Of I do and to be
Our directions changed
Moving on separate routes
To give a chance to each other
Moving on to better future. 

I had loved you
but you have lost me
In time
I was there beside you
But my presence
Went blur with time

Now I make a promise
A promise to you
My darling
Putting down my veil
I leave from this obscure tale
No strings tied
No foul blames shared

But jus' once
Before I stride
I turn around
I turn around and I cry
waiting for a discern
But nothing as I stand by.

So I promise you,
My darling
Never to be back
Its time for your life
To take a new turn
Surrounded by euphoria
Wrapped in cloudy bliss.
There nothing for me
There is nothing for us
And its time
to say this
I will step away
before you notice.