Whore of Betrayal

Life is such a beauty
played with games of betrayal
Love is cursed
unfaithful and
crushed being untrusted

No diamond can shine forever
dull with dismay
let go and run to horizon
never look back until your death

My soul tied between
heaven and earth is confused state
who I am? who I have been?
what i lived for
what I lived with
with lies and deceptions which I trusted

Now  earth left my soul
Not I choose this end
but shattering my faith
my life taken away.

swallow the pain
the burn flavor gallop in
with numb limbs
my aching heart says only this

Life is such a beauty
played with games of betrayal
Love is cursed
unfaithful and
crushed being untrusted
Love unreal, untrue
make me pathetically suffer
you whore of betrayal.

Jus' Jump!!

Sometime you have to jus jump
Not thinking where would you land
the choices between the wrong and the right
blur the edges, blur the outcome
whatever it might be
Jus' jump, Jus' jump
take a leap of faith
it may not be
but it may.
Risk all you have
thy soul you trust
Leave your conscience aside
and take a decision on guts

Sometime you don't have the time
to plan out your life around for a while
you are already in the battle
with no weapon you have to fight
you may die
but you dead already?
if no so you fight
use all you have
fight harder and harder
to survive
ask yourself what is your destination
what is that you want
strive hard and jus take that jump
with blind eyes
no logic will last
no plan with make the path
you have no choice all along
nothing matter when you jus jump alone

Jus' jump, Jus' jump
take the leap of faith
if you dare
you may die taking chances
bloody floor where you landed
but it might be that you fly
nothing matter if you reach your destination.
so forget everything and jus jump.

Departed Spirit

The spirit departed from this world
come, take me in your arms
haunt my core soul
and lift me higher
above this world.
Above the clouds,
above everything, that ever mattered
above everything, that will be encountered.

Spirit gone, departed from earth
give me power to see this universe
with clear eyes, I see past and future
no lies to hide, no truth be defied.

Oh! Spirit between heaven and earth
I can't take this pain
to be mortal survivor
haunt me or devour my sole
but take me away from this unholy world.

With agony I suffer
get me a miracle,
when I falter.
Oh! the holy spirit
the angel of good and evil
fly me to the destiny
I envision, and I dream.

Oh!! The spirit departed from this world
come take me in your arms
haunt my core soul
and lift me higher
above this world.
Help me when I chase my dream
a dot of light in my dark tunnel
show me way to proceed
my only way to salvation,
is to succeed.

Oh! the departed spirit
show me if you exist
help me find a miracle
restore my belief.
I jump with closed eyes
to leap beyond the edges
where no one ever reached
fly me there
where dreams are real to believe.

Grave Hast Thyself

Thine soul, emerged from grave,
covered in dirt, with sins dismay,
oh! the unholiness, so unexpressed,
Ye left the earth,
murdering thyself.

Buried under disgrace and disgust,
conscience mantled with lies and regret,
thine foul sole,
breezy night crying howls,
despicable cavalier brought thy shame
oh! mercy thy humane soul,
oh! mercy thee God of the world.

Forbid thy darkness in heart
the black stone thou stab in back
thou be the slave of evil
a drop of blood
thy sold on the name devil.

Now buried under pile of dust
no sole, no word serve for thine loss,
forgotten from the world,
erase from memoirs,
no one recalls
not a lone tear ye shalt have.
A word for thine loss
but thou deserve nothing at all.
Dead to the world, to heaven,
dead to all, and to hope!

Thine soul, emerged from grave,
covered in dirt, since a decade.
Oh! the unholiness of thine soul,
several mistakes ajar, undone,
several chances passed away
when thou missed thy adept stint.

Abreast buried under grey stone
buried in loneself and loneliness,
moving with no propensities
no direction.
Lost road, captivated alone,
eyes open but nothing ahead
Nailed in a coffin under dark grave
abhor thine ugliness,
thine to see, thine to own,
how utter thou hast
thy ghost haunts only thyself.

-- Tribute to Edgar Allan Poe with lines from William Wilson, "Dead to the world, to heaven, and to hope!"

Confront that Fear

Its scary
heart beating too fast
echoing sound
haunting through the walls
my breathless soul
my heart chocked in my throat
living in dread
too afraid to escape

Now I know
there'll be distractions
but ain't it possible
at least to take that chance
too afraid to fail
too scared to try
take a leap of faith
with your closed eyes.

Close those eyes
focus at the light
let all the sound vanish
and listen only to own breathing
breath, taken in or relieved
breathe slowly and deeply
let all your fears go away
vanish into the grey
let go of your dread
with the air you exhale.

Pause a while
tell yourself
you're ready to survive.
You're excited
to face your fears
and your dread.
Mercy takes you away
and your life is about to change
take that one step
whatever is ahead
can't fail if not tried
but failed to confront what's inside.

Be My Guest...!! - VIII

For story until now Go To the END : 

Chapter Eight -  The Dread Room Continues

What say of my juvenile thoughts

Ghost and Demon all I can think of.

In impeccably ordinary,

I see thousand flaws

A peace room, not a strange inn

though the sound of everything

why so petrifying to relax.

Everything seems mysterious

everything undeniably queer

why everyone so aberrant

why every moment raising questions in me.

What say of my juvenile thoughts

should I be really aghast

or am being too suspicious.

What if, my twisted thoughts

show me direction,

keep me innocuous.

Would I be too naive 

not considering the odds

not seeing whats in front?

Do I have a say

Can I escape from this?

My heart started pounding again

with Mysteries surrounding my brain.

Let me write down, what happened

After writing to my journal, 

before I write again.

I went to take a shower

Calm myself,

clean my mess from the quest.

Not long before, I turned the foset.

The dripping water

wash my thoughts.

I heard some sound coming from the room

My bathroom door was open

and through shower curtains I saw

A translucent figure

in white gown

moving around my bed

walking towards the study table 

at the corner wall

I remembered by journal left there

unclosed with my last log.

I took a moment "what is it? in the room?"

"Is it some ghost, 

some devilish soul been haunting the night?"

I cared no more

I needed answers

I jumped off my shower

and busted out of the bathroom

to startled the spirit walking around.

To my embarrassment

I stand naked in front of her

The inn lady laying some Milk

on the study table with care and love

She turned and closed her eyes

she chuckled and smiled

without a word between us 

I rushed to take cover.

I came back into the room

embarrassed and flustered.

The nice old lady was still standing
with her head down and a wrinkly smile.

I apologized 

"I thought you were something else"

She kept smiling and told in her weird accent

"No Ghost, no haunted, this room safe."

"How you got in?" I asked,
"I locked the door from inside."

"No, No... Young Lad.

I have a master key

work on any lock, we've."

"I hear you wanted Milk

you sleep, for sleep come well.

Pardon me, I scare you.

no harm, so true." she said

I smile at her innocent tone 

"I thought of asking for Milk,

but you already read my mind.

Am sorry to startled you like this.

Now can I wish you goodnight."

She turned to leave,

but suddenly crossed herself 

and looked at me.

"You want to say something?" I asked

In some trans she replied

"Thou be devil's slave, 

slaughter and burn in hell,

thy unseal the door of grave

murder thy soul thyself" 

she spoke with somber tone

in perfect English accent

she ever spoke.

Without waiting another moment

she left the room

door slammed behind her

with wind from the window.

I rushed again, to close the pane

I locked the door 

and with questioning thoughts 

"What did she mean?

why she made that remark?

How she spoke such good English

when she couldn't even say correct words?"

I retired to the chair 

took the covered glass

while drinking my Milk

I saw a letter.

A letter addressed to me

"But who wrote this?"

I turned the envelop

its signed - Count Dracula at your service.

Now am writing my journal

thinking should now I read it?

Thinking about the good lady

and suddenly what gotten in.

All this strange situation

only one I feel connection

Count Dracula my host

and his kind letter 

maybe our first communication.

Let me say goodnight to my journal

I'll read this letter am holding 

then I will retired for tonight

hope sleep will fix this weird night.

-- To Be Continued...

Until Now in Be My Guest :

Chapter One - Boarding The 3:15 Train

Chapter Two - Solitude As I Had Asked For

Chapter Three - A Dream So Real
Chapter Four - Breaking Dawn to Break Free
Chapter Five - We Arrive!!

Chapter Six - 666

Chapter Seven - The Dread Room

Further on :
Chapter Nine - Is Everything Real?
Chapter Ten - The Letter?
Chapter Eleven - The First Meeting
Chapter Twelve - Wanderin' Among The Dead
Chapter Thirteen - Nightmares in the Castle of Dracula
Chapter Fourteen - Midnight Conversation

Be My Guest...!! - VII

For story until now Go To the END : 

Chapter Seven -  The Dread Room

I twisted the golden latch
cold it was, as my heart
elfin creaking sound
echoed through the hall
Oh holy mother
Oh dear God
I galloped my fear
and wide open my eyes
the door slipped from my hand
inviting me with wide open arm.

Is my dread too judgmental
am I a prey of my own paranoia
I took a shaky step
put my right foot on the carpet
suddenly the window went wide open
flapping and beating inside and out
heavy wind blowing too harsh
too cold and howling with groan
It wasn't very soon I took another step,
rushed to the window to close its panes
But not before I could suceed
A bat flew in
restlessly flapping hitting the walls
sound of its wing
frozen my feet
my heart beat synced with its flapping wings
it rushed across the room
so fast to be followed
it flew outside through my open door
I could hear it in the hall
I kept frozen for few seconds
then rush to close the door
breathing heavy I locked myself in the room
like that weird door
will protect me from
what's there in the hall.

I realized my eyes was so wide open
I sweated wet in my layers
I was breathing so hastily
I could drink a gallon of water
I calmed myself, it took several minutes
what a nightmare
my trip till am here
ghastly drowned in my past thought
I panicked and haunted by own self.
I write this now,
to let go of my feeling.
to calm myself in such dire moment
and to note every when and how
until this ends.
Now I must take a shower
cleanup from the trip
before am ready to sleep.
I ain't know in this creepy room
If I can find peace
or wait alert to pass this deceive.

-- To Be Continued...

Until Now in Be My Guest :

Chapter One - Boarding The 3:15 Train

Chapter Two - Solitude As I Had Asked For

Chapter Three - A Dream So Real
Chapter Four - Breaking Dawn to Break Free
Chapter Five - We Arrive!!

Chapter Six - 666

Further on :
Chapter Eight - The Dread Room Continues
Chapter Nine - Is Everything Real?
Chapter Ten - The Letter?
Chapter Eleven - The First Meeting
Chapter Twelve - Wanderin' Among The Dead
Chapter Thirteen - Nightmares in the Castle of Dracula
Chapter Fourteen - Midnight Conversation

How to Lose your Wife?

How you will like to loose your loving wife? A person you love beyond any imagination possible, may be others do understand or don't, none matter until you love each other - But if you're forced then, how you will choose to loose your wife, your soul-mate?

Options :

1. Spending each day, and living each day to the fullest knowing that finally you will loose her to death. She will pass away in the hands to some darkness never to come back. You want to love her so much, pour your heart your love in each day so badly that maybe she won't be there again tomorrow to know that how much you love her. But then again when sun shines and you see her smile, sunlight reflecting through her shaved head, you laugh with tears in your eyes, feeling sad and glad all at the same time. Again with a hope. Today its your last day to show her your heart, tear open all the emotion you have for her. Then that last day comes, the last day you have to say all that you wanna say. You gonna know this is it, when she holds your hand and says "I had a wonderful life with you. I loved it all." and closes her eyes. Your night and day paused at that moment. And you jus can't move with the numbness and stillness. Your heart chocked out in your throat but you can hear it beating so hard and crying silently to make it stop, so that you can leave with her. But dear this is how you choose to loose your wife not how you leave with your wife.

2. Spending each day fighting with your parent, for the honor and respect they defy to serve you and your wife with. Crying, yelling, trying to explain them every action and intention. Waking up each morning with despair that you and your wife paying as the price of jus' being in love and choosing each other. Living in hell, in stress overwhelmed with disgrace and dishonor. Scared that your loved ones will be hurt if you try to loose those not so well wishing parents. Who want you to be miserable each day jus because they want to fulfill their uncompromised ego and unwilling to understand you and your emotions. Further they punish you by snatching away your life and your love because you have to stick around them or they black mail you by hurting the ones you care for. You have to keep witnessing them, blaming and criticizing the one you love with baseless untrue argument without uttering a word. Certainly progressively growing distance between you and your wife sooner or later, even though you may feel deep love inside for her. No way you get to share either your anger for your parents or your deep love for your wife. Your parent will never accept their defied ego for the name of your happiness, those parents are rare breed. But how long will you expect, your wife to be the only one to support and understand you. Although you continue to carry you parents problems on your shoulders. You can't sail on two boats simultaneously. Its not about choosing your love. It is the matter between wrong and right, justice and unfairness. In this case you definitely have to loose your wife because your parents are blood sucking leeches and selfish parasites who doesn't let go easy. Hence spending each day with your wife bearing stress and burden. Sometimes avoiding each other 'coz some talk may trigger the bubbling but covered anguish, or yelling out at each other 'coz a small coke-can has spilled over and its too much stress for you both. Ending up separated with pain, even though you love each other unimaginably on the name of heaven and earth. You feel equal pain as the guy you might be in the first option. Difference is you know she is out there but no where around you. You can't see her face anymore. Not smiling, not talking, not even fighting. She exists but she is defunct for you. It worst than loosing her to death. But You have lost your wife. Accept it, Swallow it, you have to live with it. Whose fault? your parents who forced you to go through this? or your wife who didn't pull this up to the end? Or its you? making the right choice?

Now tell me How you choose to loose your wife? - Being a wife I can say, no wife in this world who loves her husband wants to be in the second option. If I can and have a choice, I tell my husband - We live our life to the fullest, till death does us apart. I better go away with the first option living a wonderful life and loving him till the end than dying everyday in the later burying my emotion in my shut doors, being extinct to the one I love everyday with all my heart but can't say that I love you. I wish, if I have a choice. But you have. So decide - How you choose to Loose your Wife?

Think about it, if you're in a situation caught up with the option 2 and you are suddenly struck with a news like option 1, will you still agree to keep getting bullied, and keep nodding over the white-collared blackmails. Or will you want to spend each and every moment with your wife cherishing the past emotions creating new memories and pouring your love, your heart into the present keeping aside all the pending fights, all the unanswered complaints, keeping whole world apart from your life which might hurt her on her those last counting days. If you agree to the latter, why wait for such a news as option 1, and why not cherish every moment as it might be your last together, so that you never have to be that one guy in option 2 ever again...

Riders of Phailin

Oh! the howling wind
did angels come down
with black wings
Olympus' doors were broken
with distress and disgust
Oh! the mother nature
anger burst with fiery thunders

"You humans shred blood on my soil
crushed me, ruptured my heart
wretched everything I have
wrecked my soul to the very core.
Now stand to face me
when I come
ridding those howling winds
I sing to diminish you
vanish forever from this earth."

Oh! the angels wore
their black wings
with tremor and hurricane
they came riding the howling wind
ready to bleed
shatter the unholy souls
angels with black wings
ready to fight for mother earth.

"God has given up
hope and trust
disgrace you humans of earth.
Now we wear these black wings
wings of destruction.
To erase you, to finish you.
Your end will be a lesson
survive or surrender
face our thunder
if you have a holy heart
come face our anger."

Mother earth's howls
her sadness and angry cries
The God needs a hope
pure human with holy souls.
There is a chance
all she wishes her
children to understand.
Those insane winds passed away
carried mass of destruction
howling "I diminish you all,
crushing you to dust"

With a warning they return
Now its time to think
what's next and what was wrong
Shall there be a change
an inspiration?
Shall we stand beside each other
with sole passion?
Would there be any trust behold?
Would there be another hope?
Is it possible to restore,
the lost and the gone,
the Utopian land in our hope?

A Drop Of Blood

Am a drop of blood
am the heart break
that bleeds
am broken soul
misunderstood and diminished
am the dead past
forgotten even from dreams.

Am a drop of blood
when you murder your soul
I cried but you didn't reconcile
It died screaming and crawling 
but you didn't even realized 
the miseries killed you
and you were lost to fate defied
you changed your path
you changed yourself
for adapting mud and dirt
lies and dishonesty
Am your drop of blood
that you had lost
ain't even noticing what's gone.

Am your screaming soul
Am your drop of blood
Am your broken heart
but nothing change 
since you changed your path

I keep screaming 
come back
come back
am a drop of blood
am the heart break
that bleeds
am broken soul
misunderstood and diminished
am the dead past
forgotten even from dreams.

Am the heart break 
when you have broken a heart
innocent souls been cheated
with your lies.
Left in misery 
you search a new path
you found light in darkness
Camouflaging your nastiness
you pretend to be innocent
You infect other souls around
lost in distrust 
made someone else like you

What have you done?
How you could erase yourself?
Remember how your heart been broken
how could you break it too
I have to understand
there is no end to misery 
there is no sign of salvation
in selling your soul.

I will keeping screaming 
for you to come back
for your soul to be pure
Come back
Come back
for am a drop of blood
am the heart break
that bleeds
am broken soul
misunderstood and diminished
am the dead past
forgotten even from dreams.

No resolute 
can bring me in
memories faded
from where you believed in
Am not gonna fight to stay
not gonna stick to you
but breaking dawn
will prove to you
darkness will be gone
and morning shine will make you whole.

Am your drop of blood
Am your heart break
Am your broken soul
Am your dead past
lost in your dreams
Am a part of you
that you have lost.

Haunting Dread

All I feel is hopeless

Drive me crazy

Am anxious

I don’t know

What’s eating me

I am yelling silently

In my self.

God help me

From this feeling I get

Save me oh! Save me

Save me from myself.

I feel nothing expect

Am feeling this

I feel hatred

I feel dread

I feel nothing

Except I feel this way.

I feel nothing

Except am dismayed.

A haunting feeling everywhere

I can’t escape

No matter am any where

My affliction my anguish

How can I figure out some way?

How can I figure out some way,

Until I don’t understand

my mirrored self.

I feel nothing

Except for feeling this way

Dying crux, my faith giving up

On my way

Am running away

But I can’t escape

I can’t figure choices I make

To escape myself

To escape this grave

Mourning with woes

I keep running away.

I feel nothing

Except for feeling this way

I destroyed the good

While coming this way.

I can run away

But can’t escape my fate

To stand and face

Maybe a hope I have, someday.

-- Theme Picture borrowed from "Dark Girls" documentary.

Accepting Denial

"Denial is the first hurdle for a problem, Acceptance is the first step towards a solution." 

An inspiration touching that naive face
a tragedy that pushes to success
breakthrough for inspiring the change
denial to chain everything.

Let me breathe,
Let me go
to inspire those certain souls,
lost in darkness,
lost in unknown,
lost in wild anguish,
Let me be
their peace and hope.

Destroyed faith of human nature
diminished faith in God
decoyed, deceived, disrespected
fight ends when everyone is gone.

Fight for survival each day
struggle to live one more second
whales, animals and human beings
anguish destroying everything.

Hidden in denial
Hidden from truth
darkness mantled way to move
Calm we be
breathe air of relief
eyes settling in
to see a way through
finding a way to new future
finding a way to live together.

Innocent blood shredded be dry
move with grave souls, we cry
we mourn, but we try
a future, a way ahead
a fantasy if ever be real.
Truth to accept over denial.


Appealing all anguish to turn into ashes and peace behold in whole world, where everyone lives together, no one be the master, no one be trained to surrender, no one is killed on the name of God... Is that really not pssible, to dream of such a world?

Again!!

Life turn
tide run
slash and break
over the soar
We run
fall wretched
break our heart
our faith

Darkness of clouds every where
so cold, I am blind
hands stretched for you
aback I stay, no say
rolling into the fears of night

Hauted souls
dread I feel
left alone
frighten with ownself
reflection mirrored
shadows have surrounded
captivated in my apprehension
saturated with clutter stress
I don't have a connection
break through,
or wrectch my soul.

Life turn
open eyes
I stand to walk anyway
choose ways
found some
suffocation still aint lemme breathe
I walk, I walk
I keep taking failed steps
I see, I can see
Lights on
day glow
bright sun, rise through
tunnel ends
distant light
new morning rising through.

Cloudness shreds away
fallen darkness
has been raised
Life will be in place again
ripple can turn its way.

Destiny held bright
unfullfilled purpose to find
falling again to fly high
keep running,
Run again
fall again
my soul have to rise again
life paused, but turn back
run ahead
to begin again.

To Be Gone

So on, these words
try to make a song
but can it utter
the pain I have gone?
Lights passing out
and how I been left alone
empty room
in silence I mourn.

Defied by fate of love
in coldness
I have abandoned myself.

So on, these words
are trying to make a song
but they
can't utter
what it takes to be gone.

What its like to be gone
Lost somewhere all alone
never to be found
am gone
What's to be forever gone.

No shoulder to cry on
No shoulder to rely on
No one I can seek for
No one around
to be called my own.

With invisible existence
invisible like am gone
in my grave am all alone
six feet down in a hole.

How's it to be gone
Lost somewhere all alone
never to be found
am gone
Gone forever with no mourns.

Beyond and Far Away

My heart cries
I can't let you hear my tears
rolling down
down my memories
with pain, with sorrow
walking through open sea
stepping on shore
marking on sand
leaving our mark behind.
But today I have to leave
My life with you
has to end here
have to leave you
to leave for
beyond and far away.

I go beyond
will call out your name
several times
even if you ain't hear
even if you ain't see me
I will be there
and our hearts
will beat at the same time.

So long, so long way
you have to go
without me
I disappear in a blink
but don't scar remembering me.
With emptiness,
with void inside
The incomplete story
has to complete.
I hope you find your way
which drift you away from me.

We will still walk on the beach
but my mark won't be left behind.
We belong together
like ocean and shore here
all this distance
won't even be there
when our hearts beat together
So long, so long way
I leave you with this gift
to move along on your way
in happiness and dismay.

The Class'16

I have to pass through the darkness

I have to seek the light

Get away from haunting dread

My emotions bound in lies.

Let go of broken past

Broken heart, my soar memories

Ones again there will be day

The Class* will be written of me.

But I need to take

A leap of faith to future unseen

Enough with the baby steps

It’s my time of victory

Or I die only trying.

It’s all I feel insida me

You ain’t have to follow my lead

But if you take my hand today

We help each other,

That’s all I can say.

So let go to that Class of victory

Rejoice our choice

To defy treated pathetically

Why blend in

When we meant to stand out

Let jump today

Let fight today

Let join The Class of 2016.

* Reference to “The Class” – By Erich Segal (one of my favorite authors) written on The Harvard Class’58.

Glorified

Eyes of sun
look through the darkness,
Eyes so green
drowning oceans' depth.

Serene flying bird
blooming in blossom
cared in tender love
taking a leap of life.

Spinning through
the ride of life
settle to be
glorified.
Spark undead
glowing in darkest dread
Turn to nothing
even if fate betrayed.

Ride on
collide and fall to ashes
burnt out body
and soul to live the life.

Undead as it is
until the soul ends
until accepted lost
drown the end to bury
Taking that last leap
taking that last breathe
taking that chance
The soul is glorified.

World War Again?

- A vivid story from my Past Life...

The spirits standing in front of me
The spirits got me talking
It tells me to choose
Either wrong or let it be right
But its a poison to swallow
A call of duty for tomorrow.

And then a sudden realization
I knew, you will look after
Listen to my every word
I can speak now,
But I choked up,
I suffocate through my throat
And there was blood.

Let there be a little wine
A tear drop for all divine
I call for you
I can touch you
its my life
And I have to survive.

All these long years
I struggled
And my mother cried
But there is no rules,
No borders
From where I stand behind

Oh! my soul
You been so pure
But now I can't mend
All that's lost
With blood and sole
I have lost my soul.
Now I sip a little wine
Sobbing over
My demised essence,
Let my tears roll down
And my cold heart to mourn.

I never knew the other side,
That night I crossed
The border line.
I walked a world apart
I could see my edge
And a line
Separating our soul
Taking humanity's toll.

Why?
Why I ask,
I never knew him
But he has died
I shot him
in my cold blood.
I knew none
But they're gone.
The families lost
And everyone is cursed.
Why? For what?
I don't understand.

I mourn on myself
I serve my country
Or am saving myself?
Freedom, Rights and dreads
Whats a soul, without love
Whats the world,
without living beings
Whats left of a country,
with no human touch.

But bounded by my laws
I have to kill again
But I can't,
I can't, I can't
But I have to kill
Until my life ends.
I cry for them
Its strange but its true
But on the border line
I kill again
I kill until my life ends.

I look behind
A son and my wife
My life left behind
Lost too easy,
With a shot no hurt
Now blood on my hand
I could touch my heart
Crimson color of my own
And I have seen enough.
The last glance
my dears
The snap
wet and red.

My heart's last beat
I closed my eyes
With only wish
"Before this war eats everything,
No Gun held against,
No more human sacrificing
Before this war stops every heart
Our sons grow in that perfect world
Grave's love sent
And where the war has an end."

The Dormant Grave

How I feel for you
How I sing for you
How I love you
But then you take me over
Take me over the threshold
Take me over the edge
Take me over with silence
Just don't make me conscious
Just don't make me conscious

The brightness of the light
The floor so sparkling
The cross underneath
All our love lost behind

My life, my aim
My destiny calling in
But a sip of wine
And you take me over the threshold
You take me over the edge
You make me cold to my soul
But don't make me conscious.

Let there be little silence
Let mourn for lost soul
Lets pay a small tribute
To the one forever gone

Let me join you
Let me believe with you
Take me over the threshold
Take me over the edge
Take me over the silence
Just don't make me conscious
Just don't make me conscious.

End of Earth

Let the sky fall down
the rain pour from broken cloud
let the air suffocate my breathing
for human soul has died.

Look around and witness the misery
crying pain my fellows' tragedy
I can only mourn
I don't have a word
for human killing humanity

Paused at one place
break the ancient bond
the connection is lost
and so the compassion of hurt.
Lost under the unknown cruelity
lost in haunting greed
find all that he needs
the humane in human is lost

So let the sky fall down
let some innocent life be gone
cleaning the slate with bloody hands
let angels fly over this land.
Let the peace mantle this earth
preserve the green
with its blue
let flowers bloom again
and new species rule again.

The gone be gone
the souls been lost
let we be dug up,
by another generation.
let we be cursed
for the guilt of some other
let we be rest in peace
for something better.

Let the sky fall down
the rain pour from broken cloud
let the air suffocate my breathing
for human soul has died.

Find me Angel

Darkness of a craving soul
haunted by a sealed demon
seen no light
no long can fight
free way is distant sight

Angel oh! Angel
Angel from the God
Angel with no wings to fly
Angel shine like gold
Angel bring that brightness of light

Broken heart trapped in the long chain
caged in demolished passion
break through
breaking dawn
broken heart screaming wild

Angel flying away
Angel with no wings
float up there
Angel I call for you
shine that light
only once, once, once
for God sake.

Possessed in this demonic clutch
suffocated in the haunted castle
finding ways
looking for salvation
lost in deception
deceived by distortion.

Angel oh! Angel
don't fly away
come for my freedom
there should be a way
am God's child
ain't He is dismay.

Angel oh! Angel
come find my way
Angel oh! Angel
I should have a way
a chance to survive
a chance for my story
to reach heighten glory
Angel oh! Angel
find my way.
Angel oh! Angel
one day I will find a way.

Mirror, Mirror!!

My words are scattered

and so are my thoughts.

Drawing meaning outta

something unknown.

Looking ahead with rotten soul,

Gotten faceless

Directionless, hunting remorse.

Only a voice

So evil, so dark

Capturing my mind,

Capturing my heart,

Fiend, Fiend

Together they cry.

No escape

From the caged beast,

Fighting to hunt,

Resting to breathe.

Crying, weeping

My sobbing soul

Dried eyes, staring strong.

Anguish bursting

On right and wrong

Running to hide,

Running to survive,

Running to save own self.
Running from merciless broken heart

bleeding crimson sorrow
dropping tears of lost cause.

Love, lover, loss

Last no long,

Wandering in Lonely lanes

I have only this song.

With dried eyes

Am staring strong,

No way ahead

To move on.

No way ahead

Nowhere to move on.

Why I sing,

Why I weep,

Why my pain

So aching too much.

Trustless life, betrayed my heart

Lost a soul, lost a part

Lost my innocence, lost my trust.

Walking along

But not moving on

Stuck in the cage

Denial I own.

Can’t say no more

“I have everything in control”

Once been pride and glory

Is shattered with cripple aplomb.

How I speak of hope

When hope is lost.

Everything I believed
in a blink it's gone.

Murdered by my own hand

My existence and where I belonged.

Struggling for ways of survival
Lost my image,
Lost my reflection. 

My action be reasonized,

My expression be justified,
Can I go back?

Can I play the same part?

Wrong be right

And everything is alright

Preserve my soul

Before diminished in foul.

Mirror, Mirror

My judge, my beholder,

Show me who I am?

Show me my deeper soul!

Dried eyes

Am staring strong,

Evil or innocence

What I bear.

Mirror, Mirror

Real Me-er

Alas, My ugly face

My demons which devour.

Mirror, Mirror

Show me my slur

Can I look at you?

Can I face my true bearer?

Mirror, Mirror
Broken down in faithless tears.
Tattered pieces of shouting facts
Mirror, Mirror
Oh my judge!

Sermon of War

Thou shall not fear
Thou will burn in fire
Hold faith in yourself
And in none other.

Give up? no! no!
Given up no faith, no hope.
Will survive
Will fight
Will Strike back
'Coz the souls can't die.

Thou shall strive
Its faith
Its in mind
thee made for war
To conquer the world.

Stepping in his boot
Alexander will enlighten the path
He will show the way
Making the ages count.

You are made for
some thing more,
Don't sob over lost souls.
Thou shall not fear
Thou will burn in fire
Hold faith in yourself
And in none other.

Thou shall face
what comes
Thou shall not rest
Until war is won
This sermon we live by
singing this war field song.

These Scars Of Mine

I remember from the scars

How I Passed through

The wounds of past

I go through the same old path

Lost somewhere never to come back.

My scars of haunting reality

My scars of despise and tragedy

The scars to remind me

Another forgotten story.

All I want is to forget

The haunting memories

Of dreadful truth

A reality I ain’t accept

But they show me

My mirror image.

Walking souls

Buried with dead conscience

My conscience is shouting

The wrong and right decisions

I fight with ‘em

Losing my consciousness.

My scars of haunting reality

My scars of despise and tragedy

The scars to remind me

Another forgotten story.

My open heart

Burnt with tragic bruises

With fraudulent turns

I have lost hope.

Scars won’t let me be

forgetting my past.

My scars of haunting reality

My scars of despise and tragedy

The scars to remind me

Another forgotten story.

What’s happening to me,

Where I am

Stuck in this moment

Caged in denial.

I can’t move

To move ahead

to move on

Where is that only thing

Which can be my freedom.

Then I see those four little scars

Out of no reason it made me laugh

When I realized I have that smile

I couldn’t stop wondering

How wrong been right.

The moment of that playful fight

The joy and happiness

And many hardships I survived

Every scar tells a story

Happiness or sadness

It has its melody.

Story continues and so many scars

But every story ends

With the same tag line

I have lived

I have survived.

My Scars are worth it

‘Coz they define

My being and

Who I am.

Last moment to Live

What's there to feel
If its last time everything is real
My hands are all numb
and limbs are still
Aching heading shouting
the same words

I wanna breathe
some air of relief
am suffocating inside
chased by the midst.
I wanna cry
I howl in silence,
I wanna feel
something, anything
and everything that's real
for this is the last time,
before I die.

I got to sob
a little bit
feel the tears
running through my cheeks
the warmth of being alive
its the last day
I have got to live.

Laying like this,
Am hallucinating
the past lived moments
those fragments didn't last
I can't go back and say
"Am sorry, for everything and for the last time!"

Every bit of me
was lost in denial
But now am calling for little peace
and salvation I'll never found
But soul is searching
a song to remember
but I keep ending up saying this
the same repeated lines,

I wanna breathe
some air of relief
am suffocating inside
chased by the midst.
I wanna cry
I howl in silence,
I wanna feel
something, anything
and everything that's real
for this is the last time,
before I die.

I got to sob
a little bit
feel the tears
running through my cheeks
the warmth of being alive
its the last day
I have got to live.

Looking ahead is no option
turning back is no solution
stuck in this mourning moment
Actuality haunts my conscience.
Am having a fight
sense of judging
wrong or rights,
while leaving this world
bound by sins
I have lost the my conscience.
Having no faith I lived
but today I hope
and still believe in
given a chance a want to live again
saying same lines
over and over again

I wanna breathe
some air of relief
am suffocating inside
chased by the midst.
I wanna cry
I howl in silence,
I wanna feel
something, anything
and everything that's real
for this is the last time,
before I die.

I got to sob
a little bit
feel the tears
running through my cheeks
the warmth of being alive
its the last day
I have got to live.

I wanna Live
the Last moment
until tomorrow  comes
to say goodbye.

Cry Thou Humane

Cry, oh! Cry

Cry thou humane soul

Look at the agony

Thou pain we are going through.

Does rain wash away?

Does the earth cry along?

We all feel the grave

A sole cries,

Tearing others’ soul.

Howls are shrill

Pitching though the deaf ears

But still motionless

We stand bending our heads

Blood in our veins

We are made to feel

Then why holding that candle

Why not we rebel?

Cry, oh! Cry

Cry thou humane soul

Look at the agony

Thou pain we are going through.

A change is what we need

Breaking out of this bloody rules

Still making us walk

Down the same road

Even if all the turns are wrong

Hiding the truth

Chained our feet

Too less to explore

Why we stand waiting for justice

Taken in own hands

The future in your own perspective.

Forgiveness is saddest thing

Waiting and expecting

What could have been,

But thou humane

The had beens

Have passed away

Still crying over

The gone's dismay.

Cry, oh! Cry

Cry thou humane soul

Look at the agony

Thou pain we are going through.

Change the future,

You will live in

Change the truth

To what you believe in

Fight for justice

Never rest till it is

Cry until your

Voice is heard by every soul.

Cry, oh! Cry

Cry thou humane soul

Look at the agony

Thou pain we are going through.

Be My Guest...!! - VI

For story until now Go To the END : 

Chapter Six -  666

The haunting darkness

Numbs my limbs

My blood is cold

So frozen I’ve been.

Frightening thoughts

Oh! Clustered my head

I can’t think, I can’t think.

My pen froze in my hand

I paused, I was writting somewhere

Evilness was haunting my mind

I closed my eyes

To pretend am elsewhere.

Oh! I came with a stranger

To an unknown land

May be the evil is at its high spirit here

May be am the next one of ‘em to be sneered.

The doors of heaven would be closed for me now.

No sign of hope

I can’t cry or howl.

For if my intuition is predicted

My soul would have no chance

To purge and regenerate

Oh! Lord what I have put myself into

I must stay calm

And play along this floating song.

But while I was buried

In deep thoughts of mine.

Mr. Ray shook me with his deep voice

“Come my companion, we’ve arrived.”

I looked outside,

Where the darkness was darker than inside.

I grabbed my coat,

And carried my bag

My suitcase was heavy

‘Coz I planned to stay a while.

But I ain’t know now,

What’s ahead in my life line?

I alighted from the train

One step at a time,

As soon as I touched the base

The 3:15 train started pacing,

Silently chugging into the dark night.

I glanced up and down the platform

Not another sole I could sight

I wondered

If I am the prey of this whole set up

Every evil thing was hunting that night.

Placing his hand on my shoulder

Mr. Ray politely motioned me to move on

I followed him with no choice

Walking into the evil traps.

A carriage was waiting in the darkness of night

It was glowing red,

With the light burning inside.

The driver was wearing a black cloak,

His face was invisible

under the mysterious hood.

“Why all the secrecy

Why all the mystery”

My heart was crying

With the evil tendencies.

All vibrations talking to me

Speaking in their own languages

Warning me on each step

I stepped back but Ray push me ahead

Politely he smiled

Gestured to move ahead

I grew pale

I grew white

When the lamp light fell on the drive’s smile

“Give me the Herr’s Luggage”

Said the drive looking up with a gleaming smile

With extreme alacrity my bags were handed

With courtesy he directed me to get inside his ride

Helping me by gripping my hands

He must have prodigious strength

With grip of steel he caught my arm.

Mr. Ray sat beside me

As quite as he didn’t exist.

Without a word

the driver shook his reins

The horses turned

And we swept into the dark night.

I looked behind

At the station’s lamp light

Loosing into the darkness

No turning back

From now and here.

I was staring at Mr. Ray

With my questioning eyes

Not sure where am heading

In the night of Devil’s time.

He consoled by patting to be patient.

Saying in calm voice

“Denn die Todten reiten schnell”

It raised more confusion in my mind.

I anxiously questioned,

“What you even mean?

I don’t understand a single word.”

He smiled and said,

“You’re Dracula’s guest

No harm can come your way

My companion.”

He consoled me again,

“Don’t worry,

We will reach nearest motel very soon

To rest for a while.”

I waited for the carriage to stop

I waited to breathe some air

Finally the motion paused,

I looked through the windows

Saw the driver talking to the inn lady

The owner beside her

was frightened as seeing a ghost

Pale with fear

They were constantly looking at me

Even in that little lamp light

Their horror was clear.

He politely greeted me in

The Inn lady asked

if she can be of any service

their over politeness

was intending to please me.

“Oh! Herr, please come in,

Make yourself comfortable

Let us know

If we can be of any service.”

Mr. Raymond was left behind

I turned back to call him inside

But he had left somewhere

Lost in the darkness

In that chilling season

Left me in confusion and

with lot of questions

I kept staring in the darkness

With no answer

And no solution.

The inn lady patted my back

She said the driver will be back

In her broken English

With her motherly touch

She uttered these particular words

“Must you go? Oh young Herr,

Must you go?”

She was in such an anxious state

She lost her grip of English

She mixed her words

But still managed to say

“Do you know,

What day it is?”

I shook my head

And she continued

“It is the eve of St. George’s Day,

When all the evil things

Will be in full sway.

When the midnight will strike today.”

She crossed herself

And said again

“Morning the drive will come again

Don’t leave this Inn

Until next day.

Believe me young Herr

You will be safe.”

I smiled at her

And comforted with respect

She lead the way

Motioning me to follow

directing me

To my room ahead

The rickety elevator

Swung open the grates

She stepped out

Onto the sixth floor

And went straight ahead

The dark corridor

Ended in a drab door

Where she stopped

crossing herself again

I glanced at the door

It had a number on it.

Handing over the key

She hastily retreated

Soon I was all alone

Standing and staring

At the door

Seeing and wondering

What lay ahead.

I undid the latch

And twisted the knob

The door creaked open

Slowly, ominously,

I stared inside

To what lay beyond

The door,

The door to the room number 66

The room on the sixth floor’s

In this lone Devil’s Home.

-- To Be Continued...

Until Now in Be My Guest :

Chapter One - Boarding The 3:15 Train

Chapter Two - Solitude As I Had Asked For

Chapter Three - A Dream So Real
Chapter Four - Breaking Dawn to Break Free
Chapter Five - We Arrive!!

Further on :
Chapter Seven - The Dread Room
Chapter Eight - The Dread Room Continues
Chapter Nine - Is Everything Real?
Chapter Ten - The Letter?
Chapter Eleven - The First Meeting
Chapter Twelve - Wanderin' Among The Dead
Chapter Thirteen - Nightmares in the Castle of Dracula
Chapter Fourteen - Midnight Conversation