Lonely Love

A touch of unconditional care,
faith to wait for the right moment,
sudden surprise of being happily shocked,
numbed by my own defination.

But then the darkness of questions,
unanswered insecure thoughts.
Uncertain fate of loneliness,
trustless scars that paused.

Happen to heal everytime,
each scar left by every fight.
Pain jus fades away,
and peaced with dried eyes.

But am so tired now
dis-believe it'll ever stop.
Lost my faith with scattered pieces,
looking at my broken heart.

Trapped in my insecure fears,
my cries are unheard
These sobbing graves insida me
won't be burried with love.

Painless Suicide

Its very easy to runaway.
So soon it has been too late.
Still taking a last trip
down the memory lane,
with broken heart
and cloths with blood stain.
Am silent, quite but restless,
they blames all on me
and unlawful justice,
breakin my dreams everyday day,
now everysec I blame my existence.

Darken my eyes
don't get wet anymore
my heavy heart
jus let everyone go.
"Is it easier to let all go?"
"oh! my guilty heart
how can you make 'em satisfied?"
I saw no way to rescue myself,
I saw its comin,
its closer to my pain
"can I at least find a way?"
to bid a goodbye
to let 'em abide by
to find a last way
a way for painless suicide.

I think about it
again and again
find new place
find new way.
but what would be there
on that last sec,
what I would want
other than living again.
"I love you" would I want, to say
or a goodbye grace, I will take.

If I close my eyes
who would be the last face?
Would they be smiling
in dry eyes
or drop a tear or two
on my lifeless wound.
Would I feel any pain
until I breadth
or embrace the death
in lonely myth.

Would I find a way,
to bid a goodbye
to let 'em abide by
a way for painless suicide.

Invisiblity

His heart aches with the
pain of loneliness,
The feelin' of invisibility
haunt his way through darkness.
"Let Go!"
the screams surround his hope.
He pulls a bullet to his heart
which passed through his soul.
Nobody came to his funeral
Not a single tear for his departed sole.
A decade passed with
snow and rain.
As Eclipse falls to his grave,
the soulless body rise again.
His bleedin' eyes to looks at the world
"I wanted to quit!" he yells as far.
"Is there any solution to my aching heart"
He weeps over and over again
sitting in lonely dark.
Death ain't a solution,
he regrets for his mistake
"not even Light came to take me
is this is how am discard?"
Now he is invisible to earth
and each sole he pass.
I asked him "tell me if you feel any difference
from the pain of your scars."
he nodded whilst saying
"a single step, I wish I could have start"

P.S : A painfully beautiful Post by Sir Charlemagne over the same base "The Agony of a Heavy Heart".

Bleedin Eyes

The eyes with which he once looked at me
as once he told they followed me
some hidden love I made him feel
and believe in hope yes i did.

There came another day
he looked again
to share his feelin
to share my trust
his eyes so comforted
I lived a fairytale
he brought me back my life
he showed a dream
a princess a precious
a castle in stars.

But I saw him today
same eyes filled with hatred
his finger pointing at me
blaming me, judging my scars
I ain't believe in fate anymore
hurt but i believe I took steps so long
but did I miss a single step
that I fell short of
distance to cover that bridge to yours
your heart was never to my reach
Now am sitting in darkness
all of my own
unnoticed tears dried on my cheeks
and nothin' with and nothin' I seek
departed from destiny
I have lost my path
my heart aches so much now
I tired of this walk.
I try to now remember your eyes
those sparkling beauty I had missed
the love I found but all with my fake beliefs
the feeling of hatred at last it stared me with.

Its Sad How Loss Comes

Its sad how loss comes and struck us with its hardest stroke suddenly and unexpectedly. Without us having a blink of an idea that something matter to us would be taken away in next couple of seconds, that one thing which we want to protect with all of our life and nurture with our soul, if given a chance to. That one thing that will tear our heart inside out if we loose its existence from our life. The pain of aching heart and nausea of aching stomach due to the emptiness and hollow feeling jus never dies away. And all this numbness with a thought of, how loss can come and stuck us with its hardest stroke suddenly and unexpectedly.

What made me sense such feelin'? Well weird thing is how a small to smallest episode of incidents can affect our state of being. How something we haven't been a part of, can drastically change the directions of the our thoughts to recall if this has or could happen to me.

Yes, all am feelin' right now is sorrowful with discarded faith from the judgment of heavenly powers. Reason...? if I write it now... you won't be reading the document ahead. Ya! am tryin' to build a suspense here but with a promise to let you know of the reason before I end this post.

It takes a long time for the scattered pieces to come together and create a beautiful screen, it also takes lots of effort to make the clay to sculpture but we don't know how long this beauty of that mesmerizing happiness and satisfaction can stay. We do everything possible in our part to hold to that moment and cherish the benevolence out of it. We don't know hows the next second gonna be like, is it gonna devastate our future, or gonna bless us with more than we can imagine. If life is an uncertain "how?" which if frightens us then we wont be living at all. Someone said "Every song has a chord a final movement, Whether it fades out or crashes away. Every song ends but is that any reason not to enjoy the music."
Absolutely, its about life and how You live it. Each one of us is worthy of the beautifully waved life we are living. It depends on only us what we see and what we carry, is it dark ash from the past or uncertain hope of joy and cheers ahead. Decide yourself what you choose! 'coz it gonna decide if you are stuck or going to move on. Life is another name for water, which flows making new paths and changing directions.

By the meantime I need to figure out, how I move on?

Take care
Cleora

P.S : The reason for such thought is, I was watchin' a particular series (Genre : Drama) these days. From where I absorbed the pain of lost lives of the dear ones, which made me numb with a fear, how am gonna deal with such situation if face any.

Guity with your Lies

They call me refuge
am a piece of garbage
they call me discarded
am suffocatin'
what am suppose to do?

I call 'em, they're full of curve
piece am stuck with, under sky of dust
can't depend on li'l mean feeling of yours
so ask 'em dig li'l deeper
so they lay far apart.

I have no grudge of my own
swallowin' all the pain I got
I bleed the thoughts,
the word you put me to hurt.

How can you point that finger at me
I wanna shut the door on you
now its time for taking action
am not guilty no matter
how you put the question
I will again ask you why.

Am gonna discard you
without even explaining why
I leave you to wonder and cry
I will end with you
when its minute to midnight.

Lost Him to Life

He walked away from me
taking small steps
my voice was shaking
loosing him in grave.
I watched him go away
I waited all his way
did he care where I go?
'coz he didn't turn a single time
a last glance he didn't care to steal
a last love he didn't make me feel.
I waited still my eyes go all his way
a hope, a faith, something change, and he will stay.
He went away, he's gone his way.
Am now standing at edge
before I fall into my grave.
I think of the memories
I cherished with every passing day.
A smile he had so dear,
a life he made so worth,
A way he made me walk on,
I hold his hand, as he held mine
he called me his precious sweetheart
with all the colorful dawn.
Now the world is grey to me
with the shadows of haunted sober
happiness and laughter buried in probable trait.

He walks away, he walks away,
his head down and shoulders straight.
he walked away, he's gone his way
didn't take a glance, didn't feel my stay,
where he walked away is no more my way,
My hope got lost and all faith is stopped
I have lost my way I have lost a way
the way he found me on, someday.

Silence That Chills

An empty darkness is haunting me
am lookin' around
sounds of unknown screams.

My heart is empty
surrounded with fears
sucking the blood my past had bleed
am emptiness left with scar
anguish memory which never heal.

Look at me
with eyes filled with tears
can I smile after
you mimic my mirror.

The pain of silence
is locked under water
reflection of purity
I had bear
A second it took
to make all shatter
into the darkness lost forever.

Abandoned memories now chasing me
I've lost my way aimlessly
Now if you come back
I won't be able to forgive.

Pick You, I Do

- Answered to Prick Me Not, My Lovely Rose by Sir Charlemagne


















Picked you once
Will Pick you again,
Every stage you're mine
Pick you in lost fate
will Pick you when I cry
The sorrowful dismay
will never let me sway behind
I will pick you once
I will pick you fine
I pick you always
in shadow and shine.

You're thorn closest to me
You said you promised
you'll protect me
Stranger be not, my protector.
prick will hurt in silent shutter.
Hurt you once, hurt you fine
pain I feel in lonely eyes.
Picked you once, will pick you twice
pick you always my only spike