Last Hope in Apocalypse

Lost battle, Lost soldiers
Long journey walked in reverse
Whats ahead
A fear
A dread
So many emotions
Grave, anger and shame.

Captivated inhibition
Thoughts boxed in constraint
Fought with all we had
Fallen Captain lost in nothingness
And now we stand in numbness
Paralyzed by disbelief
And incapable of acceptance.

Call for that only mighty
"Have you fallen
Or in deep sleep?"
We cried, we sobbed,
We prayed with all our hearts
But no one listened,
Not even a single lighting stroke
It was all darkness in here
And beyond this broken world.

Stunned by the realities mischief,
As life played a ghastly joke,
What's next, we all wait now.
We will bleed but for how long?

On the face of this apocalypse
I want you to know this
I haven't lost hope yet
Oh! Mighty power
if you exist
I believe there will be Justice.

Who am suppose to be...

Standing here at the cross road
rethinking where I am
and where you have gone.

Looking at the future
mantled in darkness
and several undestine strolls

Who I am suppose to be
how I find myself
Can anyone help me
Is there a guideline

Look at the mirror
the person you see
do you recognize
who you're suppose to be.

Is it too late already
Is there a possibility
to figure it all out
and walk with certainty

I am figuring it out
Am trying to see
what is my calling
who am suppose to be

I can't make a choice
which way to go
stuck on this crossroad
waiting for what, I don't know.

Future is calling me
but am letting it ring
what am I doing
petrified of my own destiny

Is it too late already
Is there a possibility
to figure it all out
and walk with certainty

I am figuring it out
Am trying to see
what is my calling
who am suppose to be

When there is darkness
You still got to walk
make a choice for yourself
take the lead
choose the life
when you're alive.

But still chained with fear
unable to move an inch
I trying so badly
I have to decide

Figure it out
try to see
What is that calling
Who am suppose to be

Its not too late
there is a possibility
figure it out
to walk in certainty

To know my destiny
To find myself
And perceive
Who am suppose to be...

Relief

A piece I have been to trying to finish since long and finally done. A sense of relief after all. Thence the title.

Lead to this Path

Something to cry about

Something to mourn for

Something broken inside

Pricking like a thorn

How it got to be so evil

Poison pouring down

Why there is no sign of remorse

Turning new page

Like another chapter in course

Emptiness and the void

Surrounding every inch

Fumbling and stumbling

Hitting the rock bottom

Have you ever seen the evil?

The monster and the devil

Surfacing and possessing

Taking control.

Blame it on the devil

As you witness that darkness

Blame it on something dark

As you lose control

Rage has taken over

your existence, 

Everything and all.

Who to decide what righteous

Who to decide what one deserves

Anger surfacing 

from deepest darkest core

Tearing up piece by piece

Taking away the best of everything

The sun has fallen

All devoured by vast blackness

A never ending hollow

A trap soul howling across

I look at it

But I see nothing at all

Sometimes, jus’ sometimes

When no one’s around

Sometimes, when loneliness wraps

And always before sleep comes

I feel it burning inside

A self-loathing turned into disgust

A dread taking over

A numbness of nothingness

No hope to move an inch further

Can this be changed?

Or future lost six feet under 

with my grave?

Sprit lost soul dejected,

Am still and the world moving at its pace

Sealed with my own morose and melancholy

Possessed by monstrous darkness

How everything turned so wrong?

Taking an exile from all emotions

Starting a journey as lone traveller

Looking for penance

Searching for redemption

Asking only one question

Is there a light 

to bring back lost 

and one gone so distant?

Is It Time?

The web of attachment
grabs hold your soul
Incapable to let go
even though you know
its the only option for you
let go of your past
and move on.

Time to time
the decision is made for you
several signs and million reasons
to say goodbye
heart breaks and bleeds
then in time
heals and mends to be happy again
Alas! thee naive sole
don't you know
the price to pay
floating in cloud nine
You forgot what you worth
and how faith has betrayed
You rise with hope
Only to fall again
You mend your heart
only to be broken again.

Then passes the darkness with star
and after all those sleepless nights
struggling with own conscience
to be or not to be
battling with all sort of emotions
Only to find a distant hope
or a becon of light
But my darling soul
You got to know
You're God's most poor soul
Worthy of nothing at all
keep living the same sorrows
wrap with betrayal, lies and hurt
Or choose to let go.

Tell me, My mourning Conscience
Isn't it time already?
Would you be salve to the misery
or take a lonely ride to possibilities.

Lucifer: Chapter 2

For story until now Go To the END : 

Chapter Two - The Reason

Lips tied sealed forever
Thought lost
only fixating in his blue eyes
Lost in this angelic aura
How can I even exist in his presence
Nervous I kept shaking
He sat beside me
"Oh! My lord,

I can't breathe"

He smile and
picked a yellow little flower

He moved my hair
And placed it there
"I'm Samuel." he said
My lips still tied
and I am expressionless
So he continued
what he had to say
"but you know me already,
I perceive, 

as you keep following me."

"Oh! My lord, he knew,
Am so embarrassed
I couldn’t face him"
So I tried to get up
And run."

But he caught my hand
and gentle pulled me
To sit next to him and uttered these words
"Don't worry, I enjoy your company too
Even though from distance
I watch over you for years
and doing so, lost myself in you"

"I watch you every day at morning,
When the first light of the sun
Sparkles your face
You wake up so disturbed
but convince yourself
Its going to be a great day"

As the morning grows brighter
You stand on your balcony
And comb your dark hair
In the midst of your hairs 

you keep me captured.

Your kindness is beyond words
You love every soul on earth
Those animal you feed
from your share
sometime with the last bread
nothin' for you left for days.

A year back you
saved a drowning child
You knew not to swim
but cared enough

For someone else's life.

You work all day
without rest
beaten by your master
and torture by rotten souls
passing and crossing you every day.
But you don't say a word to 'em
And believe in fate that time will change.

Nights are my favorite
You thank my father
and gaze upon the stars
You keep looking at 'em

until you're dreams
weighs your eyes."

Amazed by his words

I questioned myself
Am I dreaming
Am I worthy of this
Soon he continued
"Yes, My love
Your face so beautiful
My heart aches

You're the perfection 

amongst the rest

If there an eternity 

I wish to share it with you
Jus' tell me this my love,
Do you feel the same
But if not, 

Don't hesitate

I won't cross your way

even though it tears my heart
I will mourn alone in dismay.

I held his hand
So the moment froze
I nodded
I lay my head on his shoulder
I felt every bit as him
And more.

But I couldn’t say a word
Not a word I could speak
Even if I want to
I couldn’t
Am curse with silent voice
am flawed with forever's grief.

I thought to myself
"Am only a blemish speck in the crowd
Without parents, without love

Am no lady of a mansion
Am no princess
Am only a poor mute girl
Not suited for a prince
And definitely not for an angel"

He held my face in his hand
And said, "do you think
Your status matter
I love you
With all my heart
And it feels good
to finally be able to say this
You are the connection
I have with this world
You're the reason
for my love for humankind.
It never mattered

You can't speak aloud
I can listen to your sweet voice
My love,
I can listen to your thoughts
Every time you think about me
Every time you want to talk
Jus' say those words

and wherever I am

I hear you fine".

Tears rolled down my cheeks
And I finally found a place
where am whole
He said, "if you want me to
give you a voice
You jus' have to want it
You can ask me
to give you a voice
an ability to sing
Jus' want it and its your.
My darling you're my love and

I've few tricks up my sleeves
to make everything work."

I smiled wiping my tears
"if it's true
If you really hear me
Am happy enough

I mayn't sing aloud

but I would know 

Someone cares of this poor girl

And its enough for my lifetime."

He raised my face
And looked into my eyes
He leaned closer

so close 

I felt his warm breathing
He held my waist in one hand
He held my face in another
And pulled me closer.
I closed my eyes
As his lips touched mine
It's like several lighting struck
all at one time
My heart beating faster
All my senses went numb
But feeling as such
I wished time stood still forever.

But not seconds later
The sky started to burn
Huge rocks from the sky
Came hitting the earth with fire

My angel spread his wings
Protecting me inside his arms
And closed to his chest
But I could hear the deadly screams

People dying and getting hurt

But then I heard his beating heart

Even in the moment of apocalypse 

when everything is about to end
I felt bliss like never before

if I have to die
I wish I die in his arms.

He grabbed me closer and tighter
And flew in the sky
He gently put me down
And said
"Stay inside my love,
You know I'll come for you.
Everything will be alright
Jus' know I love you
And will continue to do
For all eternity
Forever the creation exists"
He kissed my cheek
And flew away.
I kept watching him leave
Until he faded at a distance.

-- To Be Continued

Until Now in Lucifer :

Chapter One : Samuel

Further on :
Chapter Three – Battle at Heaven's Gate
Chapter Four – The Angels Return
Chapter Five - Lucifer Rises
Chapter Six – Pile of Death
Chapter Seven - The Dark Prince

Be My Guest - XIII

For story until now Go To the END : 

Chapter Thirteen - Nightmares in the Castle of Dracula

The obligation
to the oblivion pain
Some thing forgotten
still haunting back in dreams
dreadful journey
of that never ending chase
over and over again
it comes back
like there is some thing to tell
like there is some thing to know

No one's around
left in solitude
I cry and cry
But silence stretched a distance long
I sob,
until my broken heart aches
but as ghastly as I could get
the darkness begins to grow darker
and my limbs are numb
as rock tied to my feet
there is no escape
is this it?

Suddenly with a jerk
the darkness ends
eyes wide open
I am on my bed
a dim light burns at a distance
I looked around the room
and everything is
where it should be placed.

What is this am going through
what is this haunting me every night
I wonder is it some thing my conscious
wants me to know
I wonder if its innocent
or its evil.

A thunder strikes,
and a mourning sound
coming from the rooms upstair
shrill sound making my ears bleed
I shut the door
and dim light is gone
in the dark I sit under this blanket
and waiting for the night be gone
am waiting for a light of dawn
to break in
through my window
and say everything is okay.

But there are several hours
and the whole night I got to wait
so I write this journal
do not know, if today I die
and this is my end.
If so, I will end here
without knowing the mysteries
what are my dreams meaning
to tell me
what are this forces surrounding
The castle of Dracula
mystery at every inch.

                                                  -- To Be Continued

Until Now in Be My Guest :

Chapter One - Boarding The 3:15 Train
Chapter Two - Solitude As I Had Asked For

Chapter Three - A Dream So Real
Chapter Four - Breaking Dawn to Break Free
Chapter Five - We Arrive!!
Chapter Six - 666
Chapter Seven - The Dread Room
Chapter Eight - The Dread Room Continues
Chapter Nine - Is Everything Real?
Chapter Ten - The Letter
Chapter Eleven - The First Meeting
Chapter Twelve - Wanderin' Among The Dead

Further on Be My Guest :
Chapter Fourteen - Midnight Conversation

Be My Guest - XII

For story until now Go To the END : 

Chapter Twelve - Wanderin' Among The Dead

"Good lad, it's been three days
Since you're here."
His answer startled me.
Oh lord, what am hearing
Is my senses working correctly

Count read my expression
And comforted me,
"Grab hold of your emotions,
Good news is you're alright
That's the only thing that matters."

"What happened?" I asked
With a concern grave voice
He offered me a glass of wine
And sat on the chair
right in front of mine.

"So here's how it happened -
That night you reached the inn
You had still a day and half journey
Left to make it to the castle
But there was storm on your way
Stopping you from moving your steps."
He paused for a while
and spoke again
"It was two days overdue
From the time you were scheduled to reach
So I sent a Chariot
In your honor
For I hoped for your safety
In the mid of mysterious nights
To my surprise the vehicle came empty
For you weren't in the inn.
Thence like a concern host
I set for the journey myself
To look for my guest.
It was snowy storm
And it worried me
Of your survival."

"Where did you find me then?"
I asked with a shaking voice.
"In a graveyard,
But the question is
how you really reached there."
He paused again,

This time a while longer
Before he could start again.

No one knows when you left the inn
And set off for the journey
The inn lady told me
She warned you

I looked everywhere for you
The woods and the caves
Wherever a living soul could be
But suddenly I heard some screams
Coming from a distant graveyard
I rushed my ride to that direction
If not you, another soul must need rescue
But to my amaze
I saw you laying on a grave
and screaming ghastly
Your clothes were torn
You didn't have your luggage with you
You were half naked man
Jus' wandering among the Dead."

I was listening to him
With wide open eyes
After soaking in
Everything he said
I took a moment and asked
"What was I screaming"
"It was mostly gibberish
But one thing I could make out
You were talking to devil.
Am sorry that is all
My old ears could get"
He said and pause to walk towards me
He put his hand on my shoulder
and said

"You should not dig up
what's unknown
It'll keep you restless
And still uncertain.
You're safe now
Only thing that matters
And until you are my guest
And in this castle
No evil can harm you a bit
That's Dracula's promise
To keep."

Until Now in Be My Guest :

Chapter One - Boarding The 3:15 Train
Chapter Two - Solitude As I Had Asked For

Chapter Three - A Dream So Real
Chapter Four - Breaking Dawn to Break Free
Chapter Five - We Arrive!!
Chapter Six - 666
Chapter Seven - The Dread Room
Chapter Eight - The Dread Room Continues
Chapter Nine - Is Everything Real?
Chapter Ten - The Letter
Chapter Eleven - The First Meeting

 Further On :
Chapter Thirteen - Nightmares in the Castle of Dracula
Chapter Fourteen - Midnight Conversation

Love Story

Every love story, has an off-again on-again intense tension, a few moments of awing romance, and then comes a heart break so agonizing that you wanna kill yourself. But every hero comes through at last for his beloved and together mends those loose ends. 

Every love story worth to be told and shared for people all around the globe going through that rough phase of heart break knows jus' one more phase to be forever and always. 

Share your Epic love story at Flamin' Icicle or in the comment section and let's be a beacon of hope.

Small Wonders

Sometimes very small things can make people very happy. But sometimes people tend to postpone their small happiness waiting for the big things yo happen and keep getting tired of waiting and waiting. So tired that they don't appreciate the small bits and pieces of happiness around 'em. Soon that person ends up alone and unhappy, and makes everything around 'em unpleasant.

If you're walking down that road then stop for a second and give yourself a chance to be happy about small wonders. Be that li'l person in you again who gets amazed by every little thing passing by. Discover the child in you and draw peace and strength from that innocence and uplifting spirit to wait for that big thing to happen.

Negativity

All you've done blame others
burnt ém in fire of your negativity
All you've gained in your life
and still mourn about
what you don't have
neglecting only beacon of hope
that could help you survive.

All I've tried is to show you ways
to new tomorrow everyday
but all I have ended up with
is your blames and tears
and telling me am not good enough.

I showed you my heart
you stomped on it
burnt me in my own anger
left me in pieces
all you can say
how disconnected everything is
never ever trying for once
to fix anything or fix this

And you say you ever cared
I have hard time believing this
Lying straight to my face
is there any end of your deceive

You wish I never could've born
You wish I never could've exist
I wish I can grant you your wish
If only I wish to have strength
and end this.

But remember this "My Dear"
there is no cure to your negativity
today you devoured me with it
and tomorrow you will end with only this.

Horseman and the Girl he loved

I heard a story
back back in time
A rider galloping the street
riding every night
for his beloved
held captive
at the edge of a gun

She knew her lover
is on his way
to her freedom
Well aware of the tragedy
he choose to bargain his life
for the one
gift of life he brought for her
even death can't stop
this lover heart at any cost
until she is free of the chains
he won't rest to catch his breath.

Her heart beats stronger
as hopping horse came closer
"Oh!! He is here!!" She told herself
when she noticed
the armed man standing alert
as he heard the galloping horse too

The man peeked out of his window,
the horseman looked
right at him,
almost a second before
the guilty man chose to hide
"He is coming!!" The man exclaimed
"He is coming" The captive girl exclaimed
Riding like breeze
Rage in his eyes
He will make the sinner bleed
He will bleed himself
He fears none
He only cares for the one.

The armed man pointed
his sniper out of the window
he point towards the horseman
"Jus' one shot and he's gone."
he chuckled to himself
and chew the match stick in his mouth

Tears in her eyes
"He's coming!!"
she exclaimed to herself
"Come closer"
says the man ready with the gun

"I love you my darling
hope you know this"
She closed her eyes before
she said this.
A gun pointing her heart
she chose to shoot at it
before it breaks apart.
A gun shot so loud
it stumbled every creature around
the birds startled and flew
the animals scattered in dread
And the horseman knew
the message loud enough
to communicate.

He had nothin' to lose anymore
nothin' to care about
only revenge in his eyes

For everything he has lost.

The armed man startled
lost the shot he was about to take
not a moment later
the horseman standing right behind him
As he turn to catch his breath
Horseman stared right into his eyes
the man swallowed in fear
raging burning eyes
told the story of his future

Revenge served
but what's gone is gone
whats's done is done
never to come back
only remembered with mourns
and so the story ended.

No one saw the horseman again
no one knows where the dead girl went
We all jus' witnessed
he rode with his beloved
towards the horizon
where sky kissed the earth
and love is safe with sunset.

HVD, I broke up.

When you need people the most and you come to notice there is none, that's when you start hating everything about those whom you once thought to be closest.

Truth be told there is no friendship no relation but only heart breaking pain tied up with all expectation.

I could've said rely on tech and electronic form of living than depending on moving beings but again man made tech is jus as unreliable as any human being.

This brings us to the question what's our social existence means then? What's the meaning of society or living in groups, being codependent? Well those stuff are jus laughably as a cute little kid crying and demanding something that doesn't exist.

We definitely live in society but if you look around, you are actually alone. And it's better to accept that before you're lost in the darkness of hopelessness. Expectations will never lead you anywhere but to disappointments and frustration. End of the day you've only yourself to blame.

7 years ago, 14th Feb 2009, 3:30am I made a huge mistake. Today after a long time - I have the chance and guts to correct it. Even though I am standing at the same corner of my life with few variables been changed. If today I fail to make it up to myself, fix the mistake I made long back then that day won't be the one I call my biggest mistake. I was a fool, blinded but today If I can't open my eyes, choose not to use the gift of sight then no god can save me and my soul will be lost to condemn for all eternity of suffering without any escape.

Given Up

Have you ever been there?

When I cried

Have you ever been there?

When I was lost in loneliness

Darkness haunts me

Drowning in dreads of my own nightmares

Directionless I am wonder
Caught in chaotic whirl 

Needing someone to light my way

Were you there ever?

When I needed you

When my life became meaningless

When my hopes meant nothing

When my dreams startled me

Turned into nightmares
With its ghastly bliss

And all I knew was how to complain

Blinded by my disappointments

And I learnt to hate myself

Were you there to love me?

When love was only thing

That could’ve saved me

Were you there?

Before I turned into a monster
Destroying everything
I ever held dear

Before I resented my reflection
feeling remorse for every bit of my past

Before I lost hope of future
Anything I imagined
Now left with haunting ruins

Were you there?
You weren’t ever

‘Coz if you were

I would’ve given up.

Change

- Courtesy Sir Charlemagne

Drenched with tears
Abide by something evil
Alone haunted by wicked souls
Running and struggling
For survival from own demons

Hope torn apart
Everyday piece by piece
Nothing left after the storm
Endeavor future ahead
Torn apart the loved ones
Drained until
the last drop of blood

And there I lay in the mud
seeped in my death and destruction
no hope for ever another day
bidding my time going by
with every breath, every curse
inching closer
to the infinite darkness

But as they closed in on me
the monstrous demons
eternal darkness all around
As the last vestiges
of the senses abandoned
the remnants of by bleeding heart
skipped a beat

No, it can't be
its not possible
and yet deep down within
I found I wanted it to be
The wicked demons
circling overhead
strong and mighty
and yet ever so slightly
shivering whispers
among them I sense

Unable to comprehend anymore
and with clenched teeth
a faint ripple in the distance
and also deep within
grew stronger with every breath
until nothing else came in

Searing pain and devastation
blinding light everywhere
preparing for the end
Is this my purgatory?
But then the glow softened
and warmth I felt again

The dreaded demons all vanquished
Wretched souls pulverized to bits
demented ghouls bound in the past
and the fragments relieved
into oblivion, never to be

In the darkness
amid the stench of the battle
among the wretched masses of sin
a single flower in the tempest
lay there weak and devoured,
but yet not lifeless
as tears seared my skin.

Someone leaned over in the madness
someone familiar but not akin
someone I used to know long ago
someone unnamed
powerless, yet herculean
somehow I felt within

A touch
and I remember
the power over all demons
the evil to be locked within

a touch
and now I see
all the memories and memoirs
of strawberries and happy times
a touch
and I can feel
the love we shared, the moments we made
the bittersweet hearts' desires
of broken dreams and lullabies.

And now I stand up and look around
the deepest truth in your eyes
the warm touch of your smile
the kinder memories of things to be
the sacred vows and what were we

We fall into our arms
the worst is now past, gone
reminded of a binding truce
a gasp of breath, a painful rue
And a smiling face on me and you
together we shall
always stay strong
forever & always
till the break of dawn

First 30 days

A month apart
30 days of waiting
another 300 days to count

If am breaking down
am absolutely sure
you gonna be by my side
no matter how far you're
you gonna hold my hand
wherever you are
where I am

When am lonely in the crowd
I know you are lonely too
We are lonely together

But I need to feel you heartbeat
I want you here
its not something I need
but I want to be
you and I

you know my heart is aching
without you around
but am absolutely sure
we can work it out
its my only hope
in this lonely town

Its a month down
30 days without you
300 more to go
but we will work it out
being together apart.

Alone I Stand

I understood something today trust no one and be on your own. No matter how much you want to cling to your emotions, depending on other being for exchange of valued emotions, you'll always be hit by the reality that you're ALONE.