Are we looking for Validation?

Insecure and wounded by the surrounding and captivated with norms of general livelihood, it is difficult to stay tuned and tap into unlimited willpower from time to time. Perform or perish is the only notion we generalize our daily standard with. If you take a breather you might disappoint someone, something might be slipped. And constant panic of what did I missed is too much very often. Am not talking about the productivity of an employee, rather a mere basic existence of a human being to live a few good years left in the balance.

But the society and its high stature have made sure we report to its only supremacy by submitting ourselves to someone else's control, where our sole minuscule existence is judged under the microscope of a stranger. The only way we feel relevant when someone tells how worthy we are. Why isn't it enough to be just being yourself. Why we constantly struggle to be something more, flaunting our superficial gimmicks to impress the world and threaten the rivalry. Maybe it is the fast pacing competition or ceaseless battle for survival.

Appraisal has made the work environment more of a battleground of pointing fingers rather than employees working as a team towards a common goal of success. Don't take me wrong, appraisals are important, for not letting some lazy birds slipping personal advantage of leniency. Also, we need discipline in work environment an of course in our lives, which unfortunately has to be forced and can only be implemented by validating each performance. So, there you go, validation of another person to define your work. Now if this system is fair enough, is a question debatable. And we all can agree, this is necessary evil we can all live with.

But let us look outside your work, social media along with its multi-dimensional perks has brought many unconventional obligations of fantasy and absurd competition, you will only feel beautiful based on million-plus likes, and a thousand comments you have on your snap. As fake as a few comments are, are the posts real enough that you've shared? We measure how much we are loved by the number of Instagram followers we have. Our proficiency in poetry and art is judged by how many likes we have on our blogs. Does it mean I am a good enough artist or just that I have lots of acquaintances? Its a question yet to be answered.

Since we wake up till we sleep, it's all the pressure we subconsciously stress, which inhibits us from becoming our true self. We lose track of our core personality and become one of those machines which function well but has no empathy or compassion for any living soul around us. We push each other in queues or while taking an elevator. We don't accommodate people in our reserved space, we rarely ask our fellow traveller if they are okay, or can we help them somehow. And this is the obvious social norm these days, live for only yourself.

We are so busy exerting on how someone judges us, we are losing the basic human emotion which validates us in our own eyes. Maybe you won't have a huge number of the network following you but a few connection you might have will be genuine enough to keep reminding you of who you really are.

In a nutshell, let your creations make you happy, let you work make you feel proud. Once you have achieved a certain stature in your own eyes, maybe you won't require other's to validate your not so minuscule existence in some form or other.

Lucifer : Chapter 7

For story until now Go To the END : 

Chapter Seven – The Dark Prince

Thousand directions

Am aware of my existence

Every vibration

Every frequency

That’s endured

My darkness

My demon

As I remain

my soul lets go

I travelled across the dimension

I float in the night’s hollow

I exist in no form

No color

No shape I can’t transform

Haunted by my own subconscious

Hunted through the ages I lived

Running from my evil core

I chase myself

To capture to give in

A drop of nectar from heaven

An approval, a premonition

Something in the air

Something to come

Raising my cursed soul

Soul lost in the dark

Darkness that captures light

Light so bright,

as nothingness left inside.

What I am, 

if am not dark, 

evil and hideous

I am freak

Am awkward

I have only my uniqueness to abide

than comply with the world's guide

I will draw fuel from my blood
my wound never to heal

My scars will remind my battles

My fury, My rage

Will burn brighter every day 

As sun rises in the sky

And the shining sun burns my heart

I stand with my fallen soldiers

And wait for another night to fight.

-- To Be Continued

Until Now in Lucifer :

Chapter One : Samuel

Chapter Two : The Reason
Chapter Three – Battle at Heaven's Gate
Chapter Four– The Angels Return
Chapter Five - Lucifer Rises
Chapter Six – Pile of Death

Who I See in the Mirror?

You look at yourself in the mirror, might not like what you see, maybe you are too fat, or bit more tanned than usual. Then you look inside of yourself, through the depth of your own eyes, try to sail through the ocean full of memories, past experience swaying you between what if(s) and fantasies of maybe(s). But then you hit back the reality, falling through the cracks of your own fear and see how far below you stand. Suddenly your dreams are too far away and obligations are much more important to accomplish, basic necessities and moments of tiny comfort bubble, are something seem achievable. 

So you decide not to float away in imagination and let the heaviness of compromises settle you, glued to earth. Soon that heaviness is too much to bear, your passion of art and creativity left incomplete, still waiting at the corner of your study room, patiently waiting and hoping you haven't given up on them or on yourself. But every time you pass them, while you need to pick up your pen to sign another contract or agreement which might decide your road to the future, or maybe when you are in the study to pick your laptop while rushing to your office, your eye falls upon those long abandoned passion, and you glance that incompleteness in you. You're filled with regret, you remember it's been 7 years since you have touched your brushes and paints, it's been months since you wrote your story that's spinning in your head every now or then. In one hand you are doing a great at your job in your workplace but in another hand, you ask yourself if that's something you want to do forever? 

So that moment brings you standing in front of a mirror, judging yourself. You might see a thousand things that you might not like. You hate yourself for all the slips and maybe feel like living without a purpose. You know that the spark within you is burning out, and the faith in yourself seems dim. And you hit rock bottom without even realizing it. But rock bottom is the place where foundations were built. 

Suddenly universe invades with an intervention, you get to see yourself with someone else's eyes, the qualities you thought were cold and burnt out, were actually vibrant and glorious. Your personality is in the spotlight and world is your stage. You realize maybe I am too hard on myself, maybe the person you were judging so brutally in the mirror isn't that bad, maybe you have another shot and maybe you can rewrite that incomplete story and finish that piece of art that's still waiting for you in a corner of your room.

You need to realize, who you are, you always will be. Even you yourself can't change it. You will grow, gather experience, become stronger. The passion can never burn out, the dreams can become reality if you make a little attempt. You can float and fly, it will be your escapade and reality doesn't need to hit rather be real and big enough to accommodate your dreams to exist. The hurdles in the path of your dreams becoming reality are just white noise, you need to filter them out to make music. The only thing stopping you from becoming who you are and what you are meant to be is you yourself.