Saturday, June 27, 2015

My Solitude

















Sometimes life takes you on an extraordinary journey of perspectives, perspective how you see yourself, others and of course life around you. Some things might seem perfect, a perfectly designed work out, scheduled time table defining each phase in life, planning how and what decision are made. Hope there could have been a program which could answer all sorts of questions we have.

But fortunately or unfortunately it’s upon us to figure our lives out, dealing with the past hoping to see bright future. And that’s the beauty of this life, experiencing the moments and making mistakes learning and again moving. Memoirs are only forms of past that we drag along like baggage. But truth to be told no one could live or hope without a little baggage from the past. It is what shape what we're today.

Human being is a social animal, we can’t survive in solitude. We are bound by our psychology to make Relationship. Since birth we knew to have a bonded relationship with our parents. When we grow into the thriving teens we dream about this romantic relationship and perfect wedding. Every girl dream about this prince charming and a beautiful wedding. Don’t know what guys dream about, Well, we all know what guys wonder about at that age (not to put any uncensored notions). Well, being in the society and tied with the mentality to be in a relationship drives a person crazy when forced into the solitude.

But think about it, is it really bad. That one person, who is the most constant thing in your life since you came to the world, the person who knows your deepest secret and obscure temptations is only you, yourself. Then why is it bad to be in solitude, why another human contact is needed. Why there is this constant appeal of acceptance and dread of rejection?

Social media has now brought this concept vividly. There are people blocking you and there are people you block. Why? Simple answer might be - Because I ain’t wanna deal with ‘em or simply I don’t like ‘em or once that person was mean to me or I don’t know why, I was mad and now I don't care. Can you see now - there is no simple answer to this. But as long as you make yourself a prey to social acceptance you will be brutally hurt by the rejection.

Neither you can go being friendly nor relating with everyone you know, we now have the social security on stake, nor you can go everywhere or to everyone demanding you presence be treated as one of the most important people or at least your presence been cared about.

Are you expecting pity coz your husband doesn’t take a notice, or your boyfriend is cheating on you? My girl, jus’ get over it and get a life. Nevertheless girls are naive either, to those men I got the same comment, if you are dumped – Oh! Jus’ take a day off and get it out of your system. Don’t cruse love or the one around you in love. It’s not healthy especially to yourself.

Most of our habits – Sleeping, eating and being in a relation comes from what we see and what’s been told. Well also include reading to that list. Awesome novels by Erich Segal and Nicolas Sparks jus’ makes us want to fall in love. Well, good and congrats to those for whom everything worked out. But it’s nothing to be sad for the ones, things didn’t work out – with your spouse or your parent or children.

Today we are connect to someone doesn’t mean tomorrow we will be. We can’t demand to be in someone’s life. Law can be twisted and formed in several ways but it doesn’t make sense to force someone to be with you, special the one who resents you. It doesn’t worth it. You’ll ask me, “I love him/her so much, what I should do?” Well, if you really love someone and he/she doesn’t want to be with you then keep those pleasant memoirs of the past in your heart and let go of the now dead relationship. Because you know what, as much as you gonna try to hold firmly the more you gonna damage and disrespect the few good memoirs left with you. Then you’ll be left hollow, empty and there is nothing more painful in the world than left void and purposeless.

I have heard some of my very close people telling me that they don’t have anyone in their lives and it pains ‘em. Sometime you ain’t know the reason for someone rejecting you, they're definitely not obligated to answer you. But ain’t that’s enough that am not wanted. I understand the need of a friend in tough times, a friendly heartbeat, a warm hug, a known voice in the world full of strangers, a trust that this friend always gonna be there, and an expectation that never let down.

But in the real world, expectation breaks relationships, and friendship is another form of relationship. If it may last, good, if not then you gotta move on expecting there gonna be more.

More or not but one friend will always be there with you constantly and even though you are super mad with that person, you can always expect him/her to come back to you and be there for you anytime you need. You know that person – Jus’ look in the mirror and you know you’re not alone.

Even though the whole world turn against you and you don’t have a single shoulder to cry, in the darkest and cruelest night without any warm hugs, there will be this person in the mirror always there for you. But this coolest and the most loyal pal of your, ain’t gonna show up until you have found Solitude.

After all, Solitude ain’t that bad. Right?