A Dragon's Fire

A friend suggested me

a couple of days back.

Holding my hand

trying to rescue 

my depressed heart,

“Don't let the fire

inside you,

burn you down.

Don't let the pain

keep hurting you

all the time.

Let your fire out

burn like a torch

enlighten the path

to the one who are lost,

or burn that forest

with your anger

and frustration.

Still if its not out

burn me

to purify my soul.

Shine like gold,

shine like gold

oh! my friend

don't let your fire

burn you down

Don't swallow the pain

with mourning sound.”

I could only smile

Adios Amigo

I wave to leave

goodbye.

I turned and talked to myself,

“How he would know

about my story

the life I live in

and the sorrows I have been.

Am a dragon

all my life.

Breathing the fire

forever inside.

If I let it out

it would consume

everything around.

Will tear down the planet

and finish every loving sound.

So I swallow

I swallow

all the pains I have

am used to being in this agony

suffer myself all my life

fire always be on

'coz that my life defines.”

They called me the poetess

of darkness

my emotions of pain

pour in sadness

I am no Lady, no princess.

But a Dragon

with burnt heart.

I mourn at my soul

there will be no melody to hold

the screams are my music

and silence is my sole.

This is my future and my past

there will be no change

never I can be whole.

I take turns

I try to run

But before my wound

could heal

the dragon slayer

seize me to slaughter

and once again

I have fallen

with new wounds

with me.

That pit of darkness

with no voice to scream

the tears roll down

in the cold night

my only warm thing.

I cling on to 'em

at least they never deceived.

What can be said

for a dragon's life in hell

who breathes but

I can't let that fire out

for there is too much to stake.

So I swallow,

I choose to swallow,

I swallow my agony

and my tears

the fire can be furious

but only inside.

Let it burn me

but only inside.

That's my story

my friend.

There will be another reason

there will be a different slayer

but it will be the same end

for every story

I have in my life.

I will burn inside

I will burn inside.

Let my fire be furious

but only inside.

Let it burn me
but only inside.

Oh! Mi Cleora

La Cleora, say something
don't be silent inside
cry out loud
scream to fight
don't sob quietly inside
La Cleora, say something
don't be silent inside.

Oh! Dear Cleora
I can see your tears rolling,
your suffocation
am also feeling
I can understand
what you going through
how chocked your heart is
how numb is your mind
I do know what is to be like you
I understand your feelings.
In the same ship
we both are sailing
talk to me, my dear
come out from
the closet of fear.
Without you
am no one
and nothing matter
if you're not there.

Oh! Dear Cleora
You have to come out
and see.
I pray for you
your voice all I need
to break this haunting silence.

Why are you shut
behind that door
why you cry in your own self
and not open your soul.
Silence all along
your heart is broken
mourning each second
not trying to recover.

Say something, my Cleora
don't mourn in silence
all alone
Your tears are rolling
all along
and words are unspoken
so long.

You stretch your hand
but no one to hold
you standin' with all
but no one to answer your call
love is lost
you're shattered in pieces
your heart is still
and you can't breathe.
You are there
and everyone you can see
but alone you are
and lonely you will be.

Say something, this is my final call
don't mourn in silence
your tears rolling
but words are unspoken
though everything was told.

I can understand
am here for you.
Your suffocation
am also feeling.
We go together
wherever you go
we seek peace
in the pieces of our souls.

Oh! Mi Cleora...
lets burn our souls
and rest in stillness.
for no mourn can eat our souls
no hurt can bleed our hearts
no agony can fill our eyes.

Oh! Mi Cleora...
lets burn our soles
and rest in silence.
no mourning with words
no hurt with cries
no agony to sobs
or tears to quench our fire.

Oh! Dear Cleora,
don't say anything
be silent inside
and remember your mourning
until your revenge you seek.

Breathe To Die

Its easy to turn around
Not to spend another sleepless night
Blame and curse the other
leave your conscience behind.

Its easy
Not to see the scars
Not knowing where it hurts
It keeps you free
with no responsibility
No string tied
In between.

Remembering the past
The soul becomes numb
Hidden under the tomb stone
The tears roll down
I was alone
Lonely in my grave
Happy on my own
But still pause for your sole.

Nothing built is real
Cracked dream to nightmares
Broken like glass
Empty left my void heart
Darkness all around
Chocking to suffocated sobs
Trying to breathe air of relief
Yells fallen to rest
Pauses of stillness
loosen to death.
Rest my soul
Fly away
to where you belong.

Lost Inspiration

I shared this over my Facebook on 5th Aug'12. Some how turning the pages of those past streets I found this, like something I cared about buried under tonnes of other pieces, jus' like an old book lost in the crowd of new good smelling books in a library. This lost piece mystically touched me again which for some reason (that I don't remember currently) I didn't share on my blog. So here it is, my heart pouring out my feelings, :

I looked inside myself, 
I wanted to see the light 
which has shown 
the path to achievement 
which has shown the path 
enlightening my life.
But today 
I look inside myself 
the light is eaten by darkness 
the knowledge is coated 
with the dusts, 
the faith has broken 
into pieces. 
Today I look inside myself, 
today I look inside myself, 
its all bottomless darkness, 
Its all hollow inside myself. 
Today I look inside myself 
and finally I find its not where 
I am but who I have been 
and what my existence stands for
Today I look inside myself
and am standing in some hollow, 
where the voices echos through my soul
I look inside myself
and am empty as I find myself.

Daddy!!

 

 


I heard a li'l Girl say,
"Daddy did you know,
atom is smaller than sand"
Daddy smiles and says
"Its so amazing... my dear"

The girl remembers the day
and smiles back from future,
in her white dress
kissin' her dad,
takes a step ahead.

Sand of time
roll its way
daddy been there
singing "ho!! ho!!"
first to his daughter
and now to her son.
"Daddy will be there
sweet-heart!!
at every turn."

Daniel goes to college
daddy waves goodbye
in his wheel chair
he waits until he dies
talks about mamma
 warmth of her love
open arm she stretches
calling his name
to reach her.

Daddy closed his eyes
the daughter says goodbyes
in her black dress
she mourns everynight.
"What will happen now daddy!!
how will I survive?"
daddy spoke again
"turn my darling
look at 'em
your husband, your son
your family where you belong
he is a hero
to stand by your side
he is a hero
to hold when you die.
my darling my sweet heart
time have to be gone
time will roll
for another to come."

She smiles and remembers
she can never move on
but she understands
time has to pass on
"one day when I'll be gone
I'll see my daddy again
ask him, if he still wonders
how amazing is it
that atom is smaller
than sand."

Powerless with Words

And you been gone,
am left here
with a broken heart
powerless with words.

I turn around on my side
the bed is cold
as I touch
You never know
how I suffered
coz you been gone
you been free
but I have to be here
and suffer coz of thee.

Helpless you have left me
and you have gone,
you been careless to let it fall
I have no tears
when they bury you
under the earth.
Coz I have been powerless
with my words.
Am trapped
and motionless
I have been left
and can't move ahead.

A smile to pretend, I've moved on
but am stuck
asking to ashes
calling dust to dust
your name I scream
but silence all along
when everything is moving
am still
am breathless, wish my heart could stop
coz am powerless
I cant sob
Can't cry, can't weep a few tears
I see you gone
leaving me behind
when you were buried
6 feet in the earth

And you been gone,
am still here
with a broken heart

powerless with words.

Rest in Peace - to thy Soul

Holding your hand
I grew today
Ridding with you
I dream again
splashing water on my face
suddenly I woke again

Turnning back
couldn't find you there
rolled your way
to discover your place
hide and seek was put to end
you were lying in motionless bend

So serene, so paused
your moment
no emotion on your face
didnt know what to do
single tear I couldn't shread
my heart stopped
for you left me there
am first or you have gone
questions werent answered
and goodbyes were sung.

Remind me the stories
since you've left
sharing your glory
you went your way
I stood there in paused seconds
crowd was mourning
but am lonely again.

Dear Mr. Life

Dear Life,

I have been trying to comprehend you... What are you? Why are you so.... so... so...! Hmm... then I say to myself, "Life is so complicated yet so damn easy"

Strange in its own way. Colored with so many shades. Mixed with emotions and dipped in passion. Loser and yet its a winner. As Sir Charlemagne says, "its not about coming first always". Hah!! I call Life complicated and when I jus' pause and look around not worrying where I am and where to go, its so clear, so still, so calm, so beautiful. Everything is so easy and clear like water flowing in rhythm, flowing constantly and nothing can stop it when its furious. Life is like water, heals itself, restore again, furious and soothing, its a hope to move on, to look forward and to change to make a difference.

An incident ends not life, incidents like chapters in a book, which always keep its influence over whats coming next, sometime the pages would be turned to refer to write further pages but its always gone and never coming back to be re-written and not for retake. Its a strong impact corollary to the future but there is always a choice, a free pass, a freedom to choose a direction and resurrect with a new inception. That's the beauty of life, it never ends and it never depletes of Hope. Now some may criticize on my statement here "Life never Ends!!??" yes I stand strong on it, Life never Ends, Death does. And both being attached to each other but are vastly deviant.

Isaac Newton defined Life in his own language "Every Action has Equal and Opposite Reaction."

We ain't even realize that sometimes our actions trigger something, somewhere that we are unaware of but still we held responsible for it. A ripple which can make a difference somewhere or which can impact something or unfortunately someone.

In my engineering language "Life is a Sine wave!!" 

Something like these days my professional life sucks, Am falling down on my face and my world's crumbling but then my mother say its for good, "Its time... To fly high... to move on."

Life tingles our taste buds, plays with so many taste sour, sweet, spicy time to time. There are times the games played at your back, bits and pieces of those politics comes to bit you. People are complicated not Life. We play against each other and fall down so low that our character becomes cursed with evil but again people can't be blamed, then situation can be... umm... no not that... Tell me why to worry about who to blame. Something done against or for you, with you or apart for you, all the statements are in past tense 'coz its past. Now we need look forward to live to choose. What power a small ripple which others have caused in your lives has over your own will to choose your path. The directions we build can't be turned with the tides of Tsunami. It may break the well establishments, but to rise again, to learn, to grow. Rise afresh on a new ground, on new terms. Every change has a purpose to it, a turn always ain't be good, all the choices won't be right. Not because its cursed but because nothing is perfect Not even Life. But Live with it or you'll Die. 

So notion to Live with Colors and Shade with Teacher Mr. Life :

Step 1. Don't be serious, be sincere. - Chetan Bhagat. (hope you won't sue for me using your name)

Step 2. Dream.

Step 3. Never run out of Hope.

Dream to Hope

I woke up today
Not to waste
Another day
But again a day
In vain I say.

My faith is shaking
My confidence is breaking.
Taken aback
My heart is throbbing.

Where is that courage
that I used to show
Where is my life,
to make a difference
Where is that trust
Which was my strength.

Give me the power
A discipline to focus
Dear god, my lord
My destiny I empower
Bless me with your kindness,
Strength of rock
Will of steel
And knowledge so vast.

Help me to do it again,
That I achieved once.
Help me to bring the fame,
I stop at nothing
Until I finish
my Dream to Hope.