I bet every writer has half a dozen of unfinished articles,
verse, unpublished pieces. So do I, not because I have been busy, well that one
of many reasons for a few, but mostly because I got lost with my thoughts and
the destination I had directed was distracted. When I write, when anyone starts
writing, we try to dig in and find that itch factor in the brain where you
can’t really reach. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling, so writing, painting and
singing are few of many outlet people choose to let out this suppressed
thoughts with a hope to meet conclusion. Why most of my unfinished stories left
abandoned is because I couldn’t reach conclusion. And without conclusion it
seems unfinished which can’t be published and soon abandoned.
Fright is a close companion, I am frighten to change,
frighten to face the future coz I know the closer I be I will lose it, frighten
to dream for they don’t come true no matter how hard I try. And all these
nesting fears in my head am jus’ running from myself, ignoring the opportunity,
not utilizing my full potential, losing faith from myself, and above all
avoiding to face and take step to achieve something that might be better. Do
you do that too? Is fear one of the reason of abandonment of the unfinished
pieces?
Sometimes I wish there be few more hours in a day, or I may
go on without sleeping. There are so many things am missing out when I sleep,
darn my body gives up even though my mind is wander to grasp much in a day. I
wanna paint, write, clean my house, study for GMAT, and of course go to office
and maintain full legal hours there. How’s that even possible? Here i lose the
conclusion; moreover I lose the purpose of writing. While seaming a through
meanwhile thinking the path of writing the next line, and writing all along
during seaming and thinking process, I jus’ abandon this like others in the
past.
I hope you can feel me, it’s not always lack of time but the
excitement of confining several emotions and activity in one box, or the sense
of hopelessness with disappointment not having to reach a conclusion. Closure
is very important to pursue the future, letting go is only an after affect or
say closure is medicine dose and letting go is only its good affect. Anything
in life proceeds to meet closure so that, that chapter can be remembered,
sobbed, enjoyed and forgot. Lack of such closure to any subject may it be an
article am writing, leads to abandonment, ignorance, pain and finally to come
back to those unfinished topic only to acknowledge their existence over conscience
but never to forget.
Time to time I go to those drafted unfinished pieces, read
them close them, not knowing what I may add up to it, what may help to make it
a complete piece, and I end up abandoning it again until i pay my next visit.
If you think about it, it’s like life.
