Before you start my post you got to know what am speaking about so here is History of Goddess Durga
The sculpture of Goddess Durga from Hindu Mythology is my first detailed Sculpture, Before this I have made sculpture of Lord Ganesha from Hindu Mythology, which is 5 cm small idol.
The picture on the left is appearance of the sculpture when it was yet to dry.
While drying there were breakages and cracks at several spots, which I had to repair after the sculpture was fully dried.
This sculpture is made from clay taken from shores of Ganges River in India. Well actually My Uncle, who is also an Artist and famously known as T or Tapas Kar Roy, gave me this unique kind of clay, giving me an opportunity to try my hands on a field I always thought was impossible for me.
Now the Picture you see on the left is after the repairs were done and the sculpture been fully dried up.
This figure is 8-9 inches tall. And made over an wooden board.
All my childhood when I used to watch my Uncle giving life to the still motionless idols and envy him for his talent (which he never learnt nor taught me) I wished one day I could do it too.
This is my first, and I know this art needs lot of learning and understanding to actually create a perfect figure. But this is nothing less than a great achievement for me. That I have the possibility of doing something I could only wish.
It gave me a hope, that nothing is impossible. And the fact that I was really not prepared to sit down give shape to it and was more like I was drawn to it, is an experience which gives me goosebumps. Wait until you read rest of it, it was hardly a week or two before the Durga Puja at India (Link to know more about it) when I started with this sculpture.
And finished it during the 6th day of this auspicious occasion. This was a heavy but glorified feeling and an overwhelming experience.
Well, now the pic at the left only a black & white version of the completed sculpture.
After the sculpture was all complete, we put it for a small homely 'Puja' (Meaning : Worship). My mom decorated it with flowers and we put sweets and fruit and wished for peace.
It was a handful of experiences, than jus' an experience of creating something.
Its been a long time I am able to write something here for my readesr, truth is am travelling through a mist right now, seems like my journey is directionless, am not sure where am headed. There is so much to decide on that am getting numb every time I think about it. And every attempt is leading me to another failure and another block.
In this situation, I am trying to fetch any hope that's coming on my way and trying to grab it. No matter how small is it, I need to hold on to anything for survival. Maybe everyone does that, maybe we try to seek bigger meaning when we can't figure our own meaning.
Well, I have several half written, unfinished posts with me which I have been writing or trying to write. But nothing good enough, rather more of scattered words. A couple of days back I wrote this nice song, was really happy about it too. But then my iPod battery went dead and so with that my lost song.
As I always say, the gone be gone, but can't help feeling sad about it. I am very much numbed, feeling as if I have given up on myself, my surrounding and my determination of seeking purpose. But this is not it, I don't wanna give up and the more I think about it, the more strongly I feel about it and struggle with myself to fight it. Somehow the more I fight the more numb I am becoming.
Finding a speck of hope in the pit of darkness is really a difficult task, But until I know there is a speck, I will continue searching.
At least, I will not Give up.
So, I share with you a small glare of hope I have in this foggy sail, a figure of Goddess which came to me from no where. And with this I wish that my fellow readers and everyone else out in the world find that little speck of hope that can bring you out of the darkness of tough times. Be calm and don't give up trying to fight this feeling of giving up.
I know its difficult, am doing it since few years now, and the darkness has grown stronger around me since few months, but maybe I can help you and maybe you can help me. And tomorrow maybe there is a dawn for all of us.
A wish for a speck of Hope!!
