Existence In Ignorance

The memories of
those long lost days,
the soul searching
will never come to rest.
A peaceful sleep
with dreams of hope,
Its too much to ask
'coz it will never be whole.
No peace will be found
yen that doesn't exist.
Let your heart put to rest,
the deception to be fooled with,
devotion is disrespected
and love is lost in broken lanes.

Soul put to rest,
Soul rest in peace.

Ignorance mantle
the hollow affection,
I understand the void
the hole of wishes
to carry on.
Heart will beats torpidly
dolor of despairs.
Its enough I can endure
but there's more to own.
Worthy to get wounded
prosecuted to execute
their punishments
the words of judgement.
Strangled innocence
suffocating spirit,
demising existence.
Breathless my chocked throat
eyes weeps tears
and my heart drowned,
abandoned in frozen hole.
When the agony numbs
the walking defunct
live in affliction.

But still I love
and I still hate
for I care
with every breath.

Soul put to rest,
Soul rest in peace.

Yearning your hatred,
instead of your blindness,
choice of rejection
of my existence,
damaged my faith
shaken in turbulence.
I love and I hate
till I have existence.

Now storm is gone
battle is over
no prisoner taken
and blood everywhere.
Now everything is over,
Love put to rest,
oh! the holy love song,
long been gone,
go rest in peace.
No perspiration shared
to mend this broken being,
no tears to roll
while leaving separate ways.
Nothing left to collect
of this scattered soul.

Now everything is over,
and storm has passed on
In silence I weep
with pieces of my heart.
I scream with woe
and warm tears flow down
but cold is my void,
hollowness in myself.

Soul put to rest,
Soul rest in peace. 

My heart is broken,
with several stokes
my heart is broken,
jus' with your words.
I understand the rejection
I understand my stand today
I understand it never meant to be
and I was never to be whole.

Soul put to rest,
Soul rest in peace.

Now walking the other direction
I will turn for the last glance
Goodbye in my heart
Love and hate, till I die.
Kept watching from a distance
I see you walk by,
never will you turn
to look back at your past life.
As if I have never existed
never there to be gone.
There is nothing behind,
you left nothing behind.

Mourn I can
Mourn I will
Mourn my soul
for this closing will.
I have lost someone,
I loved and hated
I have lost someone
who once existed.
Who has parted now,
into air of ignorance
I was never there for him
existed in any form.
No memory no fragrant of me
nothing of me
to be carried on.

Lost soul put to rest,
Lost soul rest in peace.
Lost soul never to found
Lost in oblivion.

But there is future again,
as your way is wide open,
my path will lead me somewhere
I ain't know right now
but propensities are several.
No hope for us
I obtain.
but there is life again,
A life to carry on
A life where I can be someone
A life where I will exist
My ipseity* will have a definition
there is life again
A life where I belong.
May not be us ever
but there is a life ahead,
A life of my existence.

*Latin Origin; Definition-self hood; individual identity, individuality