Dr. Harleen Frances Quinzel, a successful woman who turned her life around from abuse, to be one of the most reputed psychiatrist in Arkham asylum, only to fall for a guy who derailed her into misery and torture.
As the story of Harleen progresses through DC universe we see her becoming Harley Quinn, we judge her for her choices, for being with a man, who clear treats her like trash - doesn't value her, is possessive and clearly uses her for on his own self-centered ego. But every single time he crushes her, she burns bright to be noticed and to find validation. Time and time again, Harley has tried to find her identity apart from Joker, only to slip back into his arms whenever he showed up. Well, all he had to do, was show up.
In the name of love, Harley went through the journey of falling again and again, while still showing strength to rise up and fight for herself. Her only blind spot was Puddin'. The world called her crazy to be with him and we pretended that it was her choice - You made the bed now sleep on it.
But here the irony kicks in, the story of Harley Quinn is not much different from most of us. When we are in love, we're blindsided, there is a reason why love is called Blind. Well, we are blinded by dopamine, and all other love hormones which shuts our logical brain, we do all the crazy thing, jus' to feel accepted.
We don't value ourselves then how can we expect others to value us. We give our everything to the one person we love - Our heart, and our soul. We are unconditional and we expect nothing, but a drop of validation. Its not jus' we loath in self doubt - no matter how attractive we are, we believe we are jus' not enough. Come on Ladies, you know its not your fault, since beginning of time, you're suppressed, Lilith is probably the first woman to take her stand and say "I am my own person," you know what happened to Lilith, she was called evil. There comes Cleopatra, beautiful and smart, well, evil again, reason of Rome's fall. The world has always been taking sides and an independent woman is intimidating. But, now is it only about women? I don't think so, its about power play. So many men have destroyed their lives over misplaced infatuation. In this cruel game of love, the one who loves first, loses. So is this game worth it?
Transitioning from the story to real life, biased judgement had been dominating our conscience, controlling our choices, and our action. While we the same people judge Harley for staying in an abusive, under-valued relationship, when comes to real life, we shift gear and advice our friend, how they haven't tried hard enough and how making babies to keep our partner is the only hope to save their relationship. Tell me something my people, must you be stay with someone who doesn't you, how pathetic that is? Is it fair scale of love?
Even our closest friends have judged us, for giving up on a failed relationship, which was clearly making us miserable, Our parents have pushed us to compromise and work it out. I don't understand why a person (Man or Woman) is highly valued, when they are unattainable and the same person lose their worth, attraction and charm, as soon as they reciprocate love. Is life and relationships are all about the chase and not about the journey together. Is settling down means, its end of the relationship, the partnership and end of the love story. Whats that happily ever after, meant?
All we have to learn from Harleen's story is that until we value ourselves, the world is not going to value us. Showering love on someone doesn't mean, forgetting ourselves. However as we try to find our ground and rise up, there will be people who could pull us down. For God sake, world is about passing presumed judgement and factless validation, and its not your ally.
I know my request will fall vain into the ears of our expert advisors, who by the way don't have tiniest bit of information on who we are and whats are we going through. However, I am still gonna try saying this - Giving an advice is a huge responsibility, own that responsibility. I would plead to the world, my friends, neighbors, colleagues and everyone else
- Stop passing judgement without knowing the story - use inside voices if you don't have self control.
- Stop taking sides - there are no sides,
- When someone is trying to crawl, and build themselves from the ashes - Stop kicking them down.
Harley and Joker were the symbol of most dysfunctional relationship, but as long as we live, in fantasies and in reality - Every Joker will have his Harley Quinn. Its in our hand which story we want to play.
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